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What was the first thing you did when you were diagnosed?
I was terrified. I don't remember being that scared in my life. It was a horrifying moment for me. I fell, cried hysterically. It took a long time for me to recover from that news.
Where were you when you found out?
I was at the nurse's office. They called me just a few weeks after they took my blood work and other tests for the prenatal visit. They called me before my appointment date and told me that I needed to go in to the office. Still, that was the last thing I was expecting to hear. They told me, and of course, one of the first questions I asked the nurse was, "Is my child going to be okay? What will happen to my baby?"
I was worried a lot about her well-being, and they told me that, here in this country, we have treatment available. You will start right away, you're not going to die -- I kept saying that I was going to die, I was going to die, because that's what I know happens when you get diagnosed in my country. They just die so quickly. I didn't even think I would stay alive to see my daughter growing, so I was crying for that reason, too. They said, "We're going to put you on the medicine to protect the baby from getting it. The baby's going to be born healthy, hopefully, and you will be okay, too, because we'll run more tests for you. You'll be fine!" I had to see that happening for me to believe that.
How did you cope? How did you get from being overwrought with anxiety to becoming an activist and being at peace?
It wasn't an easy road. If it wasn't for the great group of professionals who were providing counseling for me, I don't know what I'd do! ... I did promise my doctor that I will do everything that I'm supposed to to make sure I'm okay, and to make sure the baby's okay. I didn't miss a dosage of medicine that they gave me for the baby. I went to the counseling, I was receiving every service that I could to make sure that I'm surviving. I had days when I would just stay home and cry all day, but then after talking to different people, I remember going to my first support group.
There I found people who had lived with this disease for 10, 20 years. A group of women. I was amazed how healthy they looked, how beautiful they looked, how positive-spirited they were. I think it's the combination of those professionals and the people that I saw that lived with this disease for a long time that slowly had an effect on how positive I became.
I really felt like everyone was just trying to make me feel better. Later you meet the actual people, and you think, "Oh, yeah, they do live longer, and this is it. Maybe I can make it like this person made it." I met some women whose children graduated from high school, and they were [diagnosed] while they were pregnant with [those children], same situation like my daughter. So that encourages you more than any other material can do.
I ask questions. I'm a very curious patient. The doctors or people who have worked with me know this. I always ask questions, because then I reduce my level of anxiety. When I get answers, when I know, when I educate myself, I worry less. It didn't happen overnight. But I think that that's why, right now, I am working on helping other people. As far as the hope and being encouraged, it happened faster when I met somebody, an actual person who went through what I'm going through. When I met the person and looked at them, the level of encouragement happened faster than if somebody or my doctor's just telling me, "You'll be okay."
Do you remember who the first person was that you told, after you were diagnosed?
It was a friend of me and the father of my daughter, who had escorted us to the doctor's office. I remember panicking and after I got myself off the floor, I ran outside where the father of my child was sitting with his friend. I just screamed, "I have AIDS, I have AIDS, oh my god, I'm going to die, I'm scared!"
I think I kind of went [laughs] a little over the top, compared to some people I've met where they're a bit more quiet. That explains how the devastation is in Africa, as far as death. I just saw death when I heard that. That's how I reacted.
After that, I was disclosing this news to my family one at a time. I had to recover first, before I had the nerve to tell somebody. Not easy. Some people, it took years for me to tell them, because you always worry how the person is going to react. Is your relationship to the person going to be the same, or are they going to be scared of you? Are they going to treat you differently? But my family had always stayed positive with me, and very encouraging.
What was the reaction of your friend and your partner when you told them?
They were shocked, of course. The friend of ours' eyes were big, and [he said], "Oh my gosh, this is a tragedy; oh my gosh, this is not happening!" And my ex (now) was crying all over the place. We hugged each other and cried.
We had so many questions about me and the baby. We just wanted to know what's going to happen next. We went home thinking, maybe it's our last days. Even though they told us we were going to be okay, we still thought we were so close to dying. I'm living proof now that there's life after diagnosis. There's life, you just have to do the right things, hang out with the right people who are positive to you, stay away from people who would make you feel down. I have done that over the years.
There are some people who are not very nice, who are very judgmental, especially with the stigma going on. So I took myself away from that group of people, and stuck around people who would support me emotionally and physically, so that I can be okay.
HIV, Health Care and Treatment
Do you remember what your first CD4 and viral load were?
For the first six years, they said, other than the bad news of HIV, your counts are pretty good! Your immune system is at the level of a normal, healthy person. My CD4 count was 1,500, and my viral load had been undetectable for six years. I was in pretty good shape.
The good news is my early diagnosis. That's what they told me. It's early enough that you'll stay in care, you keep being tested every four months, and we're going to monitor you and make sure that when you're in the level where you need to start treatment, we'll know. I did just that, I never stopped being in care.
What are your CD4 count and viral load now?
Now it's dropped to the upper 300s, which is still okay, but it's not the best CD4 count, either. My doctor and I are thinking of considering some treatment options, but I'm still getting monitored. My viral load hasn't duplicated too much. [Since this interview, Fortunata began HIV treatment and her viral load is now undetectable.]
That's another thing that I want to tell people: Don't let what happens in your life have an effect on your immune system. Even though there's so much evidence of different things that can suppress the immune system, including the disease itself, what happened to me for the past few years is evidence that what happens around you can have an effect on your immune system.
I can see exactly in which time frame my CD4 count started dropping because of stress and sadness and all these other issues. I lost my father, I lost my ex, and being away from my family back in Africa -- stress that even people who aren't positive have. As a life stress, it would take a toll on anybody. I'm still working on that to make sure it doesn't put me down.
Have you ever been sick?
No, not HIV-related. I eat right, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I try my best. If I ever get sick, I don't want to look over my shoulder and say, "I did this, I did that." I want to do everything, I want to be there for my baby, I want to see her graduate from school. I want to be around, and hopefully live long enough that maybe I will go back home one day. I've got to stay alive for that.
What would you say was the most challenging thing about being pregnant and being positive?
For me, because I wasn't very aware of the disease, there was so much information I had to learn. It was a learning process. Also, I had to deal with not knowing if my child was going to be born positive or negative. Even though there was a good chance of her being born without the disease, still there was a small chance of her being born positive. With that chance not being eliminated, it bothered me a lot. I know exactly how it feels to be HIV positive and pregnant, and to worry to death about your unborn child. It tortured me a lot. I had thoughts of, "Am I really going to be okay? Am I going to be well enough to take care of her when she's born?"
To make sure you stick with your medicine regimen. I'd already promised myself not to get my child sick, so I stayed on the medicine 100 percent. I was waking up in the night to take the pills. I had to take the medicine. That was kind of challenging, too. The fact that this child probably saved my life, because I was so depressed to the point of thinking of suicide. That was the thought that I had at that time. I said, "Well, then I'm not going to do anything to myself, because I have this baby." That was a good reason for me to take care of myself, that I'm carrying somebody else. I really think that people who don't have babies, who aren't pregnant, and they just get this news, they should really try to talk to people -- the right people -- and get some help. It can get terrifying.
Disclosure, Relationships and Sex
Are you in a partnership now? Do you have a boyfriend or a husband?
No. Right now, my ex decided to leave me, when he found out he wasn't positive. I had to move on. He found somebody else, he started a family. For a long time, I thought that that's it, it's the end. I just have to deal with my disease, I don't think I'll have any relationships at all. But then years pass, and I say, life goes on. Maybe I need to give myself a chance again. So I did.
There is some possibility, there's somebody I like, so there's nothing official yet. I'm open to whatever God provides for me as far as relationships. I want to be open minded about that. If I like the person and the person likes me, he'll ask me the right questions, and then I will find myself in a relationship again. Let's cross our fingers.
When the time does come to start another relationship, how will you address safe sex?
That's always the bottom line. My life is not the same anymore. Before I was diagnosed, I didn't put so much importance on using protection, for whatever reason that I had at that time. But right now, I can't think of any kind of sex without protection. It just seems so bizarre for me to have any kind of relationship without protection. That will be my number one thing, whether the person is positive or negative: We all have to make sure we practice safe relationships.
Just because you have this disease, it doesn't mean that it's the end of the world. People do find partners in life, and they move on! I'm open to that. I'm open to starting a family in the future, I can see that happening. But I subject everything to God's will right now. I'm grateful for my daughter, and if she's the only family that I ever have, I'm positively grateful for that, too. But I keep my options open.
Speaking of family, do you have the support of your family? I know they live a long way away.
Yes, very much. It's really sad that I don't get to be with them while I'm dealing with this, but I have such wonderful friends. There's not that many of them, but I'm blessed with a nice, wonderful set of people who are like my family, and I never knew them before. When I got here, I just made friends with them.
My family stayed very supportive of me. They talk to me constantly on the phone, and they pray for me, and they're there for me. I'm blessed that way. My dad was the rock for me, was the best man that I have ever had in my life. He was the person who would tell me, "You're gonna be okay, you're gonna beat this." Unfortunately, he died before he got to hold me again and tell me that it's gonna be okay. But yes, they're very, very, very encouraging to me.
What's your best disclosure story?
The best one was the first time when I told my story in public. I remember it. After my father died, it seemed like the end of the world. But I decided to go out and share my story. I decided to talk about awareness and maybe somebody will be touched by this, so it isn't all tragedy.
I got this invitation to Kentucky. They had a fundraiser gala for World AIDS Day last year. That was my first time to go up there and tell my story in public. I remember after I finished, everybody stood up and they remained standing there for a few minutes. They were clapping constantly.
I remember looking, and wondering, what is so special about this thing? I was overwhelmed, they had a standing ovation for me -- that was probably the only one that I can remember that was an over-the-top reaction. I thought, Here I am, telling my business, right in front of the people. I don't know how they're going to react. The outcome was remarkable. They were coming after that to talk to me and thank me for sharing my story and encouraging me.
The pastor from the community said, "People here, they're very uptight, and very conservative thinking about this disease. They have their way of thinking about the people who have this disease. You put a new face on it, and thank you, and we want you to come back and speak to our church."
How do you think HIV has changed you?
Oh, big time. I had long, long, long plans before. [Now,] I think it's such a privilege to be alive. I woke up today, I'm alive, that's all that matters.
The diagnosis and being a mother for the first time came at the same time. I don't know if it helped me to be a better mother to my child, because sometimes I look at her, and I say, "These are my healthiest years. If I'm not going to be this healthy for a long time, I should do the best I can right now with her." It helped to not take things for granted so much.
What was it like when you disclosed to your partner, and he then tested?
By the time we got home, he already knew what I was going through. He thought it was him, initially.
He thought he gave you HIV?
He thought he did, because he knows that, besides him, there was one more relationship that I had. That other relationship had happened when we were not together. After he did the test and the test supposedly came negative, then the whole thing changed. I had years of being emotionally abused by him, just by using that disease status. Being not from here, we kept it inside for awhile. That was probably the worst thing -- that's when the most damage happened.
After years, he decided he wanted to be with somebody else. He left, and he disclosed my HIV status to other members from my community. When he disclosed my status online, he didn't have to say [anything] more. People already look at you as a dirty person. That's all people have to know.
That's another challenge that I had to go through, as far as relationships are concerned: the idea that I have this, and therefore I'm not worthy anymore. The disease hits you both ways.
After he left, how did you get from the point of feeling bad about yourself to feeling good, and realizing it was him that screwed up?
I didn't realize the damage he had done until after he left. That's when you start recovering, that's when you realize how terrible you were feeling before. Dealing with HIV itself is hard, and with stuff like that on top of it, it damages your self-esteem. It's just terrible.
If someone's in that position now, I would encourage them that it's going to get better, because I can stand in front of people now and tell my story, coming from not wanting anybody to know my business, period. It's going to be okay. When you hit the bottom, the only way to go is up.
For me, that was it. I either had to be miserable for the rest of my life, or get up and get better, and do something positive. The more you surround yourself with positive people, the better you feel. If I stuck in that environment and that set of people that was negative, I think I would still be feeling the same way. You find a network of people that support you, or just be on your own and you somehow find your own strength and get better.
Interview by Erika Nelson
| FORTUNATA'S MEDICAL UPDATES |
| CD4+ Count (July 2009): 375 Viral Load (July 2009): Undetectable |
| Current regimen (April 2009): Viread (tenofovir) + Isentress (raltegravir) + Intelence (etravirine) -- Fortunata just started taking her first-ever HIV med regimen on March 5, 2009. It was a difficult decision for her, 12 years in the making -- she had many worries about the effects of meds on her body and on her life, but she became much more comfortable with the decision once she saw that the meds were doing their job: In only two weeks on meds, her viral load dropped from 12,000 copies/mL down to 111 copies/mL and in July she discovered her viral load was undetectable. |
Click here to e-mail Fortunata Kasege.
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Reader Comments:
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Thank you for that story Fortunata I appreciate u so much. What u should know is that God has a plan for everyone so never shall u think about what people say about u lead your life in a positive way
Thank you for sharing you story with us, i am not HIV Infected but i am HIV affected the desease has stolen so many friends and family from me, i feel like i have it. reading you story makes me want to learn more about this desease and makes me give even more support to those who need it, not to judge but to give love and encouragement. i am a born again christian and the word of God teaches us to love one another. thank you so much sister you have done the world a great thing!
You are one brave woman. You have really inspired me. I wish you long life and good health.
This is encouraging and motivating.Like the many bros and sis of this globe,i applause you for the step your took.It was bold,energized from within and expressed outwardly.Iam sure it gonna be a rescue message to many who could have fallen prey to the deadly virus.Keep strong my sister
Regards
I am a health trainer and share a lot of health messages to youths,women and community at large on reproductive health and STIs/HIV/AIDS.Your story is inspiring and I shared it with some of the groups I have trained. I have seen many of the encouraged and coming for more advice and referral to treatment centres.
I have been encouraged to continue encouraging others and hope to form a small movement in my village to address this growing need.
Be blessed mightily. Henrietta; Kenya
Fortunata, you are in my prayers. I will pray that the meds continue to help you and that you have a long, healthy life. You are beautiful and you deserve it. God Bless you!
Hi Gal. This is very encouraging.I tested Positive and I have a three year old son. Though I feel like giving up on life,your story has just uplifted my spirit. God is there and He will see us through. Just trust in Him and have faith in Him. Thank you and be strong for your girl.
Fortunata u are realy a fortunate woman to get such large number of people being inspired by your encouraging decision to share your situation. I am the one to go to the clinic next to take a test but before I have bean in a great fear and frastration for the results that cold come. Thank you very very much and God almighty bless you in your life and work. Keep takng care of your litle child.
You are one in a million Fortunata.I was just searching stuff then I ran into this.It is very encouraging.All this reminds me of what my family went through but am so glad of this support groups.Just trust, and believe me you will receive the healing.Its coming on your way hun pray for it en we will pray for u.Your story is so touching and I wish my friend will read this and stop infecting others.
Thank you for being so open.may God bless you mightly and may he always be near you all the time. i'll pray for you and your lovely daughter, truly touched, honey be strong and keep God first in everything. Be well,and stop worring. love kenya woman.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and for staying strong. May GOD continue to keep you and your child safe!
kusoma blog nzima pretty mema
FORTUNATA, YOU ARE GREAT,IF WE GET MANY PEOPLE OF YOUR KIND,THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED.THIS IS THE FIRST MEASURE OF AIDS PREVENTION.I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU IN MY PRAYERS.STAY FOCUSED.THANKS.
hie girlfriend thank you for sharing you have inspired me in soo many ways. my story is similar to yours but my daughter is now 8yrs and i am always taking her for testing because i am soo afraid that they might have missed. i thank God for my sister who is the only one i have told. i wish i could talk to you so i can find the peace that i sense you have. i do pray and i have asked God to forgive me though i never went looking for this disease but was unlucky to get it. i have been leaving positive for the past 8yrs and my husband is negative but i have not told him my status and i thank God because from the time i found out i was positive i asked him if we can use condoms and he agreed without questions. i thank God for him everyday but i can not bring myself to tell him. you are soo brave and may God bless you with many more healthy years with your daughter.
Fortunata, wewe ni jasiri sana, nakupa 5. mimi pia ni muathirika, nimejua tangu 2001, lakini you wont believe hakuna mtu anajua, ni doctor wangu mmoja tu ndie anajua. hata sijui nianzie wapi kuambia ndugu au marafiki au hata watoto wangu, naogopa kutengwa na jamii na kunyooshewa vidole. hongera sana.
God bless you and keep you, I hope you continue to stay healthy. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and the world. You are honestly an inspiration to us all. All my love!!!!
u are wonderful may God keep u in all ur ways u have just giving me a reason to live thank u.
thank you for being so open to me, i m also hiv positive i just find out now on march 2010 but i have a problem i m afraid of telling my partner and my family but i have accepted it,Fortunata can you please help me how can i keep my CD4 count in a high level. please help me
This is a helpful forum. My twin sister suspects that she could have contracted HIV. She is so young and so innocent and i cant stand the thought of it and i love her so much. Sometimes i feel responsible for her welfare.Your story is truly inspiring.You are in my thoughts and prayers.Your story has given me a whole new perspective. God Bless you
Thank you, so much my Sister for sharing your experience of dealing with HIV that some people call a death sentence but which together with some people who are educated and informed take as a manageable disease. I was tested two years back but it took me almost one year and eight months to accept my condition, which I eventually accepted through support groups and my Family Doctor who has given me hope of living. Though I have accepted my condition I still have some problem sharing it with my family for fear of rejection and stigma. But after reading your testimony, I thing now that it’s time for me to tell them and accept whatever will came my way. Thank you once again and be blessed.
i love u. goodluck
Way to go Fortunata! I was diagnosed on 15 Spetember 2010 and have only told my doc and two friends who are also pos, but very scared to tell my friends and family b'coz of stigma - it is a killer. I have however, somehow accepted my situation and living positively. Luckily, I discovered early and am not on meds yet... My greatest regret is that, at my age (41) I pray for companionship with a good man, who woll love and cherish me... I feel lonely, lacking that special man to comfort and admire me... How do I do that?
Hi Fortunata
God Bless you for sharing your story with the world, it has touched so many people including me. I KNOW how it feels becouse i was diagnosed with it about ten years ago. But last year i visited Pastor Chris Healing centre for two weeks in South Africa and iam Hiv negative now. Free at last. I just want everyone out there to know that God never changes he is the same today, tommorow and forever more. May God Bless you and give your family. Remember that if you have faith as little as a mustard seed there is nothing that he cannot do. He is performed miracles then and if he never changes, then he is still performing them. Just Believe in him becouse he knew your purpose in this world before you were born. God Bless all of you.
Happy Easter my sister, I'm very touched by your pain and achievements you are going through.God knows you and he still did before you were born, he created you for a purpose and only him you can trust, keep on believing in him and mighty things will come your way.He will lift you up in all, have faith.
I come from Zambia and married in the UK. I have been in the flight against HIV/Aids from primary school and secondary through Drama, Art and Hospital visitation.I Wish i read your story last year as i lost my beloved uncle who did not inform any family member because of fear of rejection, i have lost workmates, cousins, Aunties etc and I'm not happy with our African society of how we are handling the situation, whats goes round come round, yes it can happen to anybody and thank you for sharing as it gives me courage to encourage those close to me that are going through what you are going through.
I don't have to sit and cry and remember the Dead but i can do something to educate people back home to live positively. What people don't understand is that the more they criticize, the more we lose our loved ones hence more orphans remain in the streets and these children grow to hate the world as they lucked love in the first place. May the Almighty God grant you peace, laughter, wisdom, forgiveness to those that hate you, more health and above all love.
love Connie Mullen
God bless you.You have touched me and helped me to understand better.Remain blessed my dear.
I read your story about 6 years ago I slept with a man when I was pregnant who was said to b hiv+ I didnt know I was young at the time. I got tested my whole pregnancy and I came out negative. I've had two more children since then a total of three and I still test negative and the doctor told me if I test negative after 6 years then I should be fine. because there is window period of 3 to 6 months possibly a year , but that it was rare that it happens. I was also told it can remain dormant in your system for years before you even get sick, but it will show up on a test, so I don't worry anymore you're story moved me.. had me a little nervous but it moved me. I lost a friend about 3 years ago on valentines day, he was a transgender and my other friend had it to and went back home and lost it, started doing drugs and everything. I have another friend who has it but I dont talk to him because he uses his disease as a way to get what he wants. but praise GOD and don't give up he has a plan for you and all of us. We are not perfect but HE still loves us anyways. Anytime you feel down just read the poem FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND.
Thank you Fortunata, I dont know where to start or what to say coz all other comments have put in words what i feel.But i can say your story is source of courage and great strength to most people particulary in africa where there is big stigma associated with hiv-aids.I read this while awaiting the results of my blood tests.i think what i take away from this story is live possitively despite outcome of test results.from this story hiv/aids should be treated as instant death sentence but as a manageable condition.like i said its case of living positively in all circumstances and apprecaite meaning of life.But most importantly look for info and knkowledge on how to manage the process.I wana share above thots and leave it there and look forward to learn more fro others with positive story like yourself.Thank you most kindly and God bless you and your little gal.
Thank you so so much Fortunata for sharing your story with us... I have just logged in this website today and I already feel much better and blessed to have read your story.
I was diagnosed 2 days ago and i think am still in denial. Am 28yrs old and lost my job 3 months when our company was going under. Now that am looking for a job,i checked in at clinic,in case an employer would request for a medical test. It turned positive and since i was in denial,i visited 2nd clinic the following day just to be sure,the results are positive again..Am not sure what i will do and who i will first tell. But am considering asking my partner to accompany me to the same clinic,so that the health worker can counsel him well. I don't plan to tell my family now,maybe later.. But your story has inspired me though i have really cried.
I know this is a life changing experience and am not sure how i will live but at least i have made a decision to live again.. I have been feeling suicidal but you have inspired me. God Bless you abundantly.. I know your daughter will grow healthy and live long,cherish her always.
My dearest Fortunata, I find your story very inspiring and confess that you are a blessed woman. I am 35 year old lady and I was diagnosed beginning of last year (2009) and have only managed to speak to God and not been able to share it with anyone else. I have a very small family and fear rejection from them. Although I have not been able to share it with anyone I go for regular check-ups at my local GUM clinic and have an excellent relationship with my doctor who I speak to as often as I can. I am not in any relationship at the moment and am constantly asking God for mercy. Sometime i try to think back to try and figure out who or when i would have contracted this illness. I have been tempted to send text messages to my ex so he can go and get tested but am afraid to. Everday I pray for God to give me courage to at least tell my sister but this is hard. May God bless you my dear sister and may he reward you for your honesty and courage.
Your story is moving and I think with this kind of powerful inspiration from your testimony the world can live above HIV.
Keep up the positive spirit. Living with HIV/AIDS is not a death sentence. Anybody can be infected and affected.
you are such a strong person at heart. you give courage to others to be strong. God will take care of all your needs and he know us by name.
very inspiring, with God all things are possible and one day there will be a cure for this deadly disease
I found out less than a month ago that I am HIV+ during a prenatal visit. I have had my share of sleepless nights and anxiety. It so wonderful to read your story. It gives me hope, strength and faith to know there are better days ahead....and that the sun will surely rise again. I am thankful for you. God Bless.
thank you for sharing your story you make me strong may god bless you
I wish you all the best my dear sister, you are so brave dear,move on na maisha wanaume sio kila kitu katika maisha,the only thing i would advise you right now is just to think of your daughter and your life and everything will be fine. It's not easy to take such a stance in life, it needs courage and yes you are the best.
Hello Everyone!
I'm Dean and I'm new here. I'm glad to be part of this community. I already been in other forum but for me, this is the nicest community.
Thanks.
Fortunata darling, remember i love u alwayz mammie. Stay blessed always and keep on having the strength u already have. I will alwayz be ya friend, no matter what. God be with u alwayz. Miss u so much friend. U remember the flowers that i gave u on ya birthday in 1996? Wish could be giving them to u at the time u were going through this.
I will alwayz be there for u. lov u. Kiss baby Florida for me.
GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS GOD ARE WITH YOU AND ALL ONE DAY HAVE 1 CURE... TRUST IN GOD FOREVER..
Hi all wanted to introduce myself!! I look forward to being part of this community.
Fortunata, kweli maelezo yako yanawagusa wengi...I was like this is never true about you, but i had to come into terms with it. Nakupa pongezi nyingi kwa ujasiri ulionao, Mungu Mweneyezi akuwezeshe na akufanikishe katika yote utamanio na upendayo. Nasi twazidi kuiombea familia yako upendo na amani sikuzote. Salaam nyingi kutoka katika familia ya Emmanuel & Alice Rutahindurwa; Peter, Rose & Paul. My email, fredyrutta@yahoo.co.uk.
hi there, my name is Eva.
found this website and read some great discussion and feedback so decided to join
i am happy to help others and offer advice where possible :)
fortunata everyone looks at this diease differ for me i have to much emotion im the kind of will make people wonder at the end of the day im the one with my foot in sand
I read your testimony and my situation is much like yours. I too found out during prenatal visits and my boyfriend was with me, well outside waiting on me. I gave him the news and he was totally in shock as was I He never gave up on me he does not shun me cause of my situation he accompanied me to all or most of my visits he is very supporting. He tested neg so far but he does not hold it over my head that I possibly exposed him. Our baby is fine she is neg. THANK GOD I just want to say continue to encourage people and let them know that there is life after a positive diagnosis our lives has changed most definitely,but all is not lost none of us asked for this but we are forced to live and deal with this daily. So ppl make the best of it make the right choices and think about the next person, teach our youth to use protection and to not grow up befor their time and that is it ok to befriend a person who suffers from this cause we did not ask for this to happen to us. GOD BLESS!
Hi to all of you!
I'm new here and i hope i can learn many things here.
You are an inspiration. I am HIV positive hetero-male and feel that all is lost. You make me believe that life and love lie beyond this disease. Thank you.
Hi Forunata:
I am a Ph.D student at New York University. My dissertation is about HIV, and I was moved by your story and the courage and resilience therein. Thanks for sharing your story. I have worked with this population since the early 1990's and have witnessed some incredible miracles,you represent another one of them. You are a phenomenal woman! Keep on taking care of yourself and daughter, one day she would make you proud!
Hello all,
I've just joined this site
There are some great posts here to learn
You are a very couragious woman and i do admire you. Most pple do not care for themselves and that's why they die so fast because all they do is to try and spread it mean while they contract more diseases. I don't have the virus, but i am a supporter. i want to thank you for your story, it has made a change in someone's life. God bless you and you daughter.
Fortunate, All things works for good for those who love God. God has a better plan for you and your daugther. You are very much blessed in all you do. Forgive you former partner and look forward and remember you are a winner. email me if possible: gilbert_chewe@yahoo.com
JUST WISH TO PASS MY GREETINGS AND LOVE TO YOU. YOUR STORY IS A TESTAMENT OF THE HANDY WORKS OF GOD MANIFESTING ITSELF IN OUR LIVES. I REALLY ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE AND WILLINGNESS TO TELL US YOUR STORY.'A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM SOLVED' AS ONE GREAT THINKER ONCE SAID. REST ASSURED OF MY PRAYERS AND GOD'S INTERVENTION IN YOUR LIVE. LOTS OF LOVE FROM ME AND GODBLESS.
Just to say Pole to you Fortunata. You are not alone and many people around the world suffering from the same disease have been strengthened by your testimony. Tunakuomba ukue na nguvu. Maisha bado ni ndefu mbele yako. Sahau kama uko na virusi na maisha itaendelea kama mbele. Waza ungalikua ku miaka 1980, akungekua esperance lakini leo, uko ai na Mungu atakuonesha watoto wa mtoto wako. Salama na heri kwako.
Pole sana dada yangu Fortunata, haya yote ni mapito, wengi tunaweza kusema mengi lakini uzoefu wako ni wa kuigwa hadi sasa unapambana. nakupia moyo kwa kukuhakikishia kuwa Mungu ni Mkuu kuliko tatizo lako, muamini yeye peke yake nawe utathibitika. Kuishi kwetu hapa duniani hakuna maana kama tutajitumainia wenyewe hata kama tusingekuwa na UKIMWI.Nikupe hongera sana kwa ujasiri uliouonesha na kuujulisha ulimwengu hali yako. Sasa jitahidi kufanya sehemu yako ili wengi wajue wasibaki wakijifariji kuwa wao ni wazima na kumbe ni wagonjwa wasiojitambua kwa kutokupima afya zao na kujua hali zao.
my email(kabelotiny@yahoo.com
Thanx for the courage support and the lesson you taught me after going through ur story.HIV positive lady dumped by boyfriend after disclosing my status.
Hi, Thank you for sharing your story, i have been HIV positive since 2000. I also found out when i was pregnant with my 1st son. I was horrified, lonely, i have learnt to live with it. I thank God that my son was born negative. i took him to i don't know how many tests just to be right. i was more worried because i breast fed him for a while 19 months.
I have not yet started taking my meds, so far my health has been excellent.
I am married now, we both have HIV, so we understand each other, we have another son who is 20 months old, HIV negative. I feel so blessed and know that God is on our side.
I don't have friends to share my status with, nobody seem to be open about it. i wish i did, it would make things easier to talk about it.
I hope that they find a cure for us one day. i wish you all the best with your daughter, may God bless you and may you live long to see the cure.
Fortunata,
I am married and have three children. I was diagnosed a few years ago after being admitted into the hospital for Double Pneumonia; I have never been seriously ill and apparently I had the disease for 10+ years before I was diagnosed. When I was told that I am HIV+ I was shocked and in denial, and my greatest fear was the thought if my wife was also; she was negative. We are still together and with God's grace I am doing well!!
Your name in Spanish partly means FORTUNE (fortuna)and I have faith that HE has Blessed you with fortune as your given name.
thank you for being strong enough, that way you will live longer than you thought.my the lord give you more days as sceintieseties do their best to find a cure for the mostter.
Hi, Miss Fortunata this is Keke again. I just want to take time out to say you are so encouraging by reading your testimony, i become so encouraged inspite of what i've been through.
Fortunata, you're courageous, supportive and a good friend ..you assured me there's life after being Hiv positive and I tell you what you were right...I am so grateful because to me each day is a blessing. Wishing you many more healthier years to come my dear and trust me you will see your daughter graduate, get married and also you'll be a grandmother..Love you best friend.
Habari yako Fortunata. Mimi ni Mtanzania pia. Nimefurahi kuona kazi unazozifanya kusaidia kimawazo watu waishio na virusi vya ukimwi au wale wenye ukimwi. Wewe n shujaa kwa watanzania, waafrika na walimwengu wote waishio na virusi au wenye ukimwi. Mimi sina virusi, lakini ni miongoni mwa watu walio-saidiwa na mungu tu kutopata virusi. Niliiishi na msichana wa kimalawi kwa miaka minne, tulitumia kondom wakati wote lakini labda mara 3 au 4 kondom ilipasuka. Mwaka huu alinipia simu kuniambia kuwa amepimwa na amengundulika kuwa na virusi vya ukimwi. Nimepima baada ya miezi mitatu na sina virusi, nasubiri kupima tena baada ya miezi sita. Naomba ushauri wako kuhusu nini nifanye kumsaidia huyu msichana. Siwezi kuishi nae kwa vile nimeisha aowa na nina mtoto na mke wangu. Siwezi kumtupa tuu kama bf wako alivyofanya. Nataka kuwakaribu naye lakini siokaribu sana kwa sababu ninmke sasa. Naomba ushauri wako kwa vile wewe ni mwanamke pia. Asante
Fortunata- All I can tell you is that God is greater more than HIV. We are conquerers more than HIV and Aids. I have been with the disease for twenty five years (25 years) and still going strong. God knows when I will be called to join him in his kingdom and not HIV/AIDS. Stay blessed sister.
You are absolutely incredible and inspirational. I need your help though. I have a friend who has been HIV positive for at least 5 years -- she has 4 kids which none are in her custody. Pregnant with her 4th daughter she did not take her medication and she is HIV positive. She has giving up on life and her children and I don't know what else to do. I now have custody of her 3rd child and I do believe she is on the brink of death, however, that is only a guess based on her not taking her meds for so long. What can I say or do to help her I am at a lost. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I REAL LIKE YOUR STORY IS PAIN ME BECAUSE AM ON THAT SITUATION PLEASE I NEED ASSISTANCE MY EMAIL vainjau@hhotmail.com thankx
Fortunata, you're a strong woman, and your beautiful. God is with you all the time and is protecting you from those stress. nothing bad will happen to you, I love you and your daughter is my daughter too.
Bravo, I admire you thank you
Thank you for your story you share. If your boyfriend left you don't worry but I know that god loves you sister. I'm hiv negatif I like to read history of people hiv positive because I have my cousin who died with that virus after 12 years. May god continue to bless you
God will bless you and will prolong your days in the land of the living. Such courage to share such truths must be praised. I have never had the courage to go for the HIV test all my life, just the thought of going for it scares me, i pray for courage. God bless you and your daughter
stay strong my sister,and god bless you.and live your life to the fullest,so god bless you and your daughter.
Honestly, 27th of April 2009 will remain a day with a bad memory in my life. I went for my HIV results (as I get tested every year) and BOOM! it stood there in black and white that I am positive. I immediately thought that it would be the end of the world for me but now that i am reading a lot about other people like me who are beating this virus, I am encouraged to fight it too. Thank you for the inspiration Fortunata
Fortunata,
You're very inspiring! I just took a blood test and am freaking out, I have no symptoms or anything like that of anything but I'm still very anxious. My girlfriend and I; we haven't had relations, but I don't want to risk getting her sick. This is why I took the test, anyway even if I do have something I will stay hopeful thanks for your story! You made a difference! Thank You!!!
Thank you Fortunata, I'm also from Afica, I was diagnosed 5 yrs ago, the man l lived with was negative, and left me eventually after heavy abuse, l had clung to him desperately, but he left eventually,l have never ever been able to even tell my family of my hiv status, but may be one day l will. Thank you for your courage.
I READ YOUR COMMENT BECAUSE I CARE AND LOVE PEOPLE. REMEMBER WITH THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST HE WILL DELIVER YOU AND HEAL YOU STAY STRONG I HAVE A FRIEND AND LOVING HIM I WILL LOVE YOU
Hi Fortunata, Very inspirational and motivating story you have shared with us and the entire world. I also live with HIV, and I was fortunate to meet someone who accepted me the way I am and we got married. You are such a blessing to all of us. May God continue blessing you and your daughter.
The experience you shared with all of us is so much more powerful than the work done by HIV immunologists looking for a vaccine. Your story instantly touches and makes us think twice before we jump onto sex. Immunologists has been there for 25 years looking for the vaccine. Please keep the crusade alive......
Hi Fortunata
I'm also HIV positive. My life is in a standstill now. I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed maybe you can help. I found out a month ago.
Wow!
This is very much inspiring my sister, may God richly bless you and your daughter. Definitely, you are going to live even much longer than you'd thought because you are a blessing to everyone whom you touch with your inspiring story. You have gone through a lot enough and i beleive that God has got something better for you and your daughter. Africa needs people like you who can come out and be strong so as to reduce the stigma that is still there. Words can't explain how i feel and how thankful i am for somebody like you,your story has touched me deeply. May God continue blessing you day by day and give you more strength every day!
Fortuna thanks for sharing with us. I can identify with you. My ex who is hiv negative did the same thing and posted my hiv positive status to all my friends whom he had never even met. He is still doing it even now whenever he gets the opportunity. I know that in all these things were are more than conquerers through Jesus Christ. God bless you.
AWWWW.......ur such a strong woman....im sure u r a great mother...God bless
You go girl u r an inspiration to us all both Negative and Positive. I've recently lost someone very special to me. She could not take it and the pain she was going through was unbearable,in fact she kept on asking WHY HER and that's what killed her "the stigma" because here in Africa if u r infected people will say that u got what u were looking for. Tell me who can go around and look for an infection no that is impossible. Don't be angry with the father of your child,he was just afraid and he did not know what to do, he decided to be a COWARD, INSTEAD OF FIGHTING IT WITH YOU HE RAN AWAYbut i think it's too late for him to come back because i think that's what he wants to do. But there is one boyfriend who will never run away from "OUR GOD ALMIGHTY". He will be with u throughout your life. You might not be with your family but the world i.e ALL HUMAN BEINGS AFFECTED & INFECTED ARE THEREALWALYS THERE. Pls live for our loved ones who could not take it, show us that there is life with HIV/AIDS no matter what.
African sister, thanks for being brave. Your man may have had the virus in his cells but still in the window period (hidden) as they called it back then. But either way you willl live and your child too. Someone will marry you and be your companion in bad times and good times
Dear Fortunata.
Thank you for your profile which is inspiring and goes a long way in the fight against stigma and discrimination. Africa needs lots of people like you for effective behaviour change. You are a blessing to many and the Lord my God has blessed you and your daughter. I am doing volunteer work in HIV programming and it has really humbled me and reading your story I know it will cause a lot of people to change their behaviours. I have also taken the liberty of copying your story and comments so as to post on our notice board for others who do not have access to the net. Thanks again for the advocacy for use of condoms because consistent and correct use of condoms is the way forward. Thank you and you are blessed coming in and going out. I pray for good health in your life and that you will live to see your grandchildren. Just remember God loves you and when you are called to his purpose and love Him all things work out for your good. Divine health is yours to take and to have. Love you
Fortuna, life was made by God, not a person. Your hopes should be pinned on The Almighty first before you could think of anyone. He is the one who created you, and he knew from the begining what you will receive in your life. Fortuna, my sister, I like the way you took yourself out of that misery and shown your courage to show people that being sick doesn't mean that you are dying. I wish you could come to my country one day and join other activists, who will help spread you good words to our nation. God bless you and the young girl.
I feel your pain. But... remember every sickness isn't death. Just think about all the people that's gone and didn't die from AIDS complication. It's always someone in worst situations than we are. Count your blessings my sister. I'll keep you in my prayers -- we gotta remain strong. If he brought you to it.. he'll pull you through it. GOD BLESS!! He don't put no more on us than we can bear!!! feel free to email me when you're feeling down, even if you just wonna chat email: tikika_78@yahoo.com
Wow! That's all I can say. Wow!
God bless you! Keep the faith. God is there, my father died with AIDS. God is so good. My name is teresa smith.
To all who took time to write me some really nice, encouraging comments to me, thank you.As we wrap 2008 up, may we all try to live our lives to the fullest, enjoy every second of it, and fight this bad disease.'love you all!!
my name is jonell am 25 a single mom a i just found out 4 months ago i go though days when i feel alone;sad and like noono want 2 b my friend or they treat me like a germ but when i told them they treat me the same.I want 2 have more kids and i want a family
thats whats up stay strong and dont let it get u down
You are blessed and highly favored by the most high. Look and live my sistah. Fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am so proud of you!!!! Love ya much.
Fortunata, You are a very strong and powerful woman,thank you you for giving me hope and the will to know that life is still beautiful!
Very courageous woman! Society needs people like you to help educate us. Infected people are intentionally infecting others here. I think it is because of lack of knowledge and confusion. I am crying out loud for President Kikwete to do something. Our nation is finished!!
Thank you for being so open to other people about your status. I am also HIV positive and for 15 yrs living with this virus. I feel the world can have more of you. Sister God is in control, not HIV and He is the creator of heaven and earth. Nothing will stop the love of God for you. Even HIV can't stop His love for you. Remember you didn't choose to love Him but He chose to love you, in spite of who you are or what you have. Take the flag sister run with it and finish well. God bless you with blessings upon blessings. Please contact me at rogernhlapo@yahoo.com
Fortunata, I am humbled I can't say how much it means to the world that we have people like you.
I wish America could change the face of being HIV positive..can u imagine, they don't treat HIV-positive people like human beings. They are not given green cards or nationality because they are positive! What a country! God bless you and u wil live longer. Read Psalms 23 and 45
You are a beautiful woman. Keep it up!
Blessings and Hugs from one + sister to another.
I wish I had your courage. Living in as small town it is very difficult. None the less, I give God all the praise for you, your child and to good health.
u are a woman of courage and inspiration. May God bless u and ur daughter
Thank you for sharing your story! Your strength is a true inspiration to others!!! May God bless you and keep you and your daughter safe, warm, and strong and may you have many wonderful years together!!!!
DO NOT LOOSE HOPE BECAUSE GOD IS DEFINITELY WITH YOU. NEVER THINK ABOUT THE PAST,BUT FOCUS ON TODAY AND TOMORROW WITH YOUR CHILD. THE TRUTH ABOUT IT IS THAT THE FIRST TIME YOU ARE TOLD ABOUT IT OR HEAR ABOUT IT, YOU GET TO FEEL SO CRAZY.BUT I AM HAPPY TO HEAR YOU SAYING YOUR FAMILY IS SUPPORTIVE. PLEASE INCLUDE ME AS PART OF YOUR FAMILY BECAUSE I SUPPORT YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY FROM THIS COUNTRY OF BOTSWANA. BUT MY HOME COUNTRY IS ZIMBABWE. LIKE YOU SAID BEFORE THAT YOU NEVER ENJOY SEX WITHOUT A CONDOM AFTER YOU TESTED POSITIVE,I ALSO ADVISE YOU TO CONTINUE OPERATING THAT WAY AND GOD WILL ADD MORE BLESSINGS UNTO YOU, RATHER THAN THOSE PEOPLE WHO SAY,"HOW DID I GET IT?" AND IT MEANS THE PERSON WHO GAVE THIS TO ME KNEW THAT HE WAS POSITIVE AND WANTED TO SPREAD AND DOES LIKE WISE.GOD WILL NEVER BLESS YOU FOR THAT.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND GOD WILL HELP YOU TO SEE YOUR CHILD GROW. AS FOR ME I AM NOT POSITIVE,I GO FOR TESTING EVERY YEAR,TWICE, AND I AM MARRIED TO BRENDA AND WE HAVE GOT ONE CHILD AND ANOTHER ONE IN THE MOTHER'S WOMB.I REALLY LIKE TO SUPPORT PEOPLE WHO ARE POSITIVE AND I WISH MY CHURCH COULD HAVE AN ORGANISATION WHICH TAKES CARE OF THE ILL OPHANS OR HIV PEOPLE, I TELL YOU I WILL VOLUNTEER TO BE AN AID.
MAY GOD CONTINUE BLESSING YOU AND YOUR CHILD LIKE HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN DOING.
Thank you Fortunata for your story. I am reading this at 1 am because l cant sleep. But this has given me new hope
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