Strangest but Truest Posts of 2007 in TheBody.com's "Ask the Experts" Forums

We're nearly 30 years into the HIV pandemic, yet a shocking number of people still appear not to know the first thing about HIV. We get to see some of that ignorance firsthand in our "Ask the Experts" forums, where we're sometimes amazed at just how little people have learned about HIV -- and about just how paranoid some folks can be about whether they've been exposed to the virus.

We scoured our "Ask the Experts" forums and nominated 10 posts we feel are the "best of the worst" of 2007 (or the worst of the worst, depending on how you look at it). They're some of the oddest, most nonsensical questions we've seen people ask about HIV this year. Some are shocking, some are sad, many are hilarious -- and they're all reminders of how far we still have to go to educate the world about HIV.

Readers of our "Hot Topics at The Body's 'Ask the Experts' Forums" newsletters voted on which of the 10 finalists represented the most bizarre post from our "Ask the Experts" forums during the past year. Each post was rated from 1 (not strange) to 5 (extremely strange). We then tallied up the votes, with a rating of 5 worth five points, and a rating of 1 worth one point.

The "Winner" (a.k.a. the Loser)

When "Bless You" Is an Understatement
(Total Points: 2,499)
I sneezed on my penis right after I masturbated. Could I have gotten HIV?

Dishonorable Mention

It was a close call between the most bizarre post and the runner up; the rest of the pack trailed much farther behind. The dubious distinction of Dishonorable Mention goes to:

Can You Get HIV by Using a Shower Curtain as Toilet Paper?
(Total Points: 2,457)
While using the bathroom at a party, I found there was no toilet paper left and opted to wipe myself clean with a shower curtain. Later on, I found out that the owner of the house is HIV positive. Now I'm deathly afraid. I was getting my period at the time; could HIV have gotten into my bloodstream through the shower curtain and infected me?

The Final Eight

Here's how the eight other finalists shook out:

A Really Nasty Computer Virus
(Total Points: 2,356)
I fixed an HIV-positive friend's computer. The dust inside the computer got everywhere. I breathed it in and found it all over my scraped-up hands. Now I'm wondering: I couldn't catch HIV from computer dust, could I?

Giving a Whole New Meaning to Foot-and-Mouth Disease
(Total Points: 2,351)
I'm a doctor, and I was caring for an HIV-positive patient with a very high viral load and very low CD4 count. As part of the examination, I scraped the sole of his foot with my car key to test his reflexes. Later that evening, when I had my hands full getting out of the car, I put the key in my mouth. Can I get HIV this way?

Not What Most People Mean When They Say "Bottoms Up!"
(Total Points: 2,247)
Last week, while taking a bath, I decided to insert an empty beer bottle that I found in the bathroom into my anus. I'm not sure whose beer bottle it was, so I don't know whether or not they had HIV. It was inserted for no more than 30 seconds when I realized there might be a risk of getting HIV. I immediately stopped what I was doing and threw the bottle away. Could I have gotten HIV from the dried saliva on the rim of the beer bottle?

Are Cigarettes HIV Killers?
(Total Points: 2,223)
If I smoke cigarettes, will the smoke kill any HIV that might be in my mouth?

Does Two Plus Two Equal Safe?
(Total Points: 2,150)
OK, so I've heard that using two condoms during anal sex might actually be risky, since it can cause friction between the two condoms. That's why, when I have anal sex with a man and am on top (don't worry, my wife knows all about it), I use four condoms. Still, do you think I might be putting myself at risk?

Why They Invented the Word "Duh"
(Total Points: 2,142)
I was just invited to a barebacking party in West Hollywood that's "poz friendly." Do you think I should bring condoms?

Is It Safe to Ingest My Own Bodily Fluids?
(Total Points: 2,052)
I'm HIV positive, and I sometimes lick my fingers and suck on my dildo after I've masturbated. Could I be reinfecting myself with HIV?

Can I Get HIV Even if My Partner Isn't Infected?
(Total Points: 2,016)
If I had anal or vaginal sex with an HIV-negative partner, could I still get HIV?