STEP 9: Putting It All Together

HIV & Me: An African American's Guide to Living With HIV

In this booklet, we've talked about some of the most critical steps to take if you've been recently diagnosed with HIV: educate yourself about HIV, find HIV support services and an HIV specialist, and prepare for and start HIV treatment if necessary. But perhaps the most important step you can take is the one that makes all the other steps possible: accepting your diagnosis and planning your future as a person living with HIV.

"When my parents learned about my diagnosis, they did not say, 'I don't know you.' They said, 'What do you want us to do, besides keep loving you?'"

-- Robert Mintz, diagnosed in 1983

To read more about Robert, click here.

"This illness is in my body, but it does not control my life. ... I have my days as I'm sure everyone does. After I cry or feel bad for myself, I get it all out of my system and get back to reality. I have friends, and now my own family, who would be lost without me!"

-- Teniecka Drake, diagnosed in 2001

To read more about Teniecka, click here.

Regardless of the reason you were infected, something as life-changing as an HIV diagnosis usually gives people an unexpected chance to re-examine their lives. Many people with HIV say that their diagnosis turned out to be an opportunity to better their lives. That may sound crazy to you right now, but having to face a serious health problem can motivate you to dig deep and make changes in your life that you may have been putting off, or that you never even realized you needed to make.

Some of these changes, of course, may be staring you in the face. If you drink too much or don't exercise, it's time to change. Anything that adds stress, frustration or conflict -- be it a bad relationship, a soul-crushing job or trouble paying the bills -- can be a drag on your immune system, or can make it harder for you to commit to taking your HIV medications on time every day if that's what you need to do. Talk to your HIV specialist, a counselor or a support group about these issues, and ask yourself what you can do to improve the situation. Never underestimate the impact that emotional health can have on your physical health.

As we've explained in this booklet, there's little physical difference between being an HIV-positive African American and being an HIV-positive person of another ethnicity. But there may be an emotional difference.

Almost 20 years after Magic Johnson made his famous announcement that he was HIV positive, stigma and denial are still strong. HIV stigma is as much your enemy as HIV is. Like HIV, it can get under your skin and start to produce fear, shame and self-hatred.

You may have to do a lot of work and seek out emotional and maybe spiritual support, before you can educate friends and family about the realities of HIV, and help them separate the facts from the myths.

But know that isolation and silence are hazardous to your health. If you don't feel comfortable going to an HIV/AIDS organization for support, the Internet may be a lifesaver. There are many Web sites where you can learn more about HIV and its treatment, stay on top of the latest HIV news and even meet people. But it's up to you to get out there. Once you connect with others, you'll be surprised at how invaluable you'll find the emotional support.

There are more than 1 million HIV-positive people in the United States -- many in the same position as you. Reach out for that support; it will strengthen you and challenge you to keep going, keep growing and keep living life to the fullest.

THINGS TO REMEMBER:

HIV IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE.
A positive test result -- even if your CD4 count is low -- gives you the warning you need to take control of your health and stop the disease from getting worse. The majority of people who take HIV medications can plan on long and healthy lives.
HIV IS NOT A PUNISHMENT FOR SIN OR IMMORALITY.
HIV is a virus that causes a disease. It does not discriminate. Anyone can get it.
HIV IS NOT A REASON TO BEAT YOURSELF UP.
Taking responsibility for your health is important. But focus on the present, not the past. Learn new ways to heal yourself, not blame yourself.

Glossary

Contents

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