"I vow with all beings . . ."

The 16 poems on this page are examples of gathas. Adapted by the Zen teacher Robert Aiken and loosely based on a traditional Indian and Chinese format, gathas aim to bring attention to everyday events. They are linked to each other by having an identical second line.

Illustrations by Amy Dakos

When I hold my lover's hand
I vow with all beings
that he will still be holding my hand
when I journey to the gates of heaven
where I will kneel before God
and kiss His tender feet.
-- Mark Escamilla

When I think of friends who have gone before me,
I vow with all beings
To draw on the essence of who they were,
And feel blessed that they have shaped who I am.
-- Gary Oberst

Counting out pills into cubicle compartments
I vow with all beings
to fill my life
with music, art and love.
-- Neil Stannard

Driving to the doctor
I vow with all beings
to aim my heart's desires
with the same directness and precision.
-- Neil Stannard

When I remember feeling demeaned by the physical disfigurations of illness,
I vow with all beings
To understand that it is vanity itself which
is demeaning.
-- Gary Oberst

As I take my morning meds
I vow with all beings
To be thankful that my being alive
Is a marvel of modern medicine.
-- Jim Smith

As I walk my dog each day
I vow with all beings
To greet each plant and human
As the loving expressions of God they are.
-- Jim Smith

When I sit at my brother's grave
I vow with all beings
to fight the virus that eats
at my humanity but not my spirit.
-- Mark Escamilla

When I sit down to play
I vow with all beings
to experience the occasion of that moment
in oneness with borrowed time.
-- Neil Stannard

When I offer up my arm to the needle
I vow with all beings
to rejoice in the knowledge
that this blood also gives life.
-- Neil Stannard

When Dennis, my lover, cooks me breakfast
I vow with all beings
To be thankful for the nourishment
It brings my body.
-- Jim Smith

As I awaken from my drugged sleep
I vow with all beings
To approach my waking state
With the warmth and strength of my
morning brew.
-- Jim Smith

When I look at my fading tattoos of death
I vow with all beings
that they will fade
even more.
-- Mark Escamilla

When I hear my mother's suspicious voice
I vow with all beings
to protect her fragile heart.
-- Mark Escamilla

When I wake in the morning with pain,
I vow with all beings
To appreciate how that pain is what allows me
To live another day.
-- Gary Oberst

When I perform the mundane tasks of life,
Washing the glasses, scouring the toilet,
I vow with all beings
To understand that even the inanimate
Is deserving of my respect.
-- Gary Oberst

For information on AIDS Project Los Angeles' Writers Workshop, call (213) 201-1600, Ext. 1136 or (213) 201-1600, Ext. 1038. The workshop meets each Thursday evening and Friday during the daytime.