Recently, my partner escorted me to a TV interview that I was giving about Body Positive. Before the interview began, David and I had a chance to talk with the host of the show whom we took to immediately. The host was witty, smart, and good-looking -- well built and well spoken. The last thing he said to us before he started his show was "you're so lucky that you found each other, I can't even get laid much less find a boyfriend."
David and I chuckled over that comment. The perfect man that so many are looking for is standing in front of us, and he can't get a date to save his life. He also somehow got the impression that we're the quintessential "perfect" couple. If the first part elicited a chuckle from us, the second part had us bent over with gales of laughter.
David and I are polar opposites in almost every way: He's obsessed with the arts, I play ice hockey; I love action flicks, he prefers incomprehensible foreign films with subtitles; he's Jewish, I'm Christian; he's a post-modern minimalist with Art-Deco leanings, while I can't find enough space in our new apartment to display my Pillsbury Doughboy collection; I'm HIV-positive and he's HIV-negative. The list seems to go on forever. And yet it still seems to work for the two of us.
Are we perfect? Well I am, but he has a ways to go. Do we work at our relationship? Absolutely. Four years ago, however, David was the first "date" to whom I ever disclosed my serostatus to, and his simple response was our very first kiss. Stuff like that makes David a "keeper" -- regardless of the fact that he's a Scorpio and I'm an Aquarius. Will we end up like Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward or Liza Minelli and David Gest? Who knows, but I definitely intend to enjoy him to the fullest for as long as he's willing to put up with me.
It's ironic how many people (gay, bi or straight) who do not currently have a "special friend" are always pining for one, and how people who are in a relationship so often look outside of it for more. Everyone else's love life -- whether it's with the same person for 25 years, with no one for the past ten months, or with 10 different people last weekend -- always seems a bit more glamorous, more enticing, somehow better than our own.
As you read through this issue of Body Positive Magazine about the many different facets of relationships and HIV, just keep in mind some of my mother's trite bits of wisdom, your dating and relationships will turn out just fine: "There's a lid for every pot" and "the grass is always greener on the other side."