Never Ever

Never ever will I watch the sea again
The waves rushing and crashing
Against the rocks
To be pulled back again by the restless tide.

Never ever will I see the mountains again
Covered by green pines and golden aspen
The peaks touched by last year's snow.
Which trickles downward in crystal clear streams.

Never ever will I follow the rugged road
That went I knew not where
Over the unknown hill and around the next sharp curve.
Looking back to the road I'd just traveled.

Never ever will I hear the shrill cry of a golden eagle again
As it dives earthward for its prey
Spreading those gorgeous wings with the rushing wind
Against the backdrop of the evening sky.

Only in memory will I catch the glimpse
Of a sudden smile on that dear loved face.
Or feel the touch of a warm embrace
Of hands that soothed and caressed.

Only in memory can I see it all again
Memories of those times and places
Memories I can never lose or replace
I know they are there hidden deep
In the recesses of my mind.
And I am content.

Carol Stevens was a member of Compassion & Choices. After Carol died, her daughter, who is also a member, found this poem on her desk.