AIDS Project Los Angeles
That Night
By Gary Beauregard
November 2000
DAMN THAT NIGHT THE NIGHT
spent kissing kissing your
neck and wonderful lips luscious
luscious
to feel
so lovely into the night
touching you
in places that I rarely
go to/went to and feel that fine fine
warmth.
to find also, the sleep
that I wished for.
Fourteen years past and I'm still kicking
kicking myself
still trying my best to stay vertical
standing up up to my needs new needs
of drugs of rest of future
Perhaps too of death this stupid
death that we all wonder too much of
3:00 a.m.
his name was Fernando and we would do
coke on the terrace of his place
looking out over the quiet
English Bay quiet after
a strenuous fuck quiet our bodies weary and
docile. Gently touching and
touching feeling this man.
This lover.
Living the high cost of love. A cruel new
tax luxuries savored like in an
amusement park -
quickly, joyously brutally at times and
in time
finding myself on that scary ride
down down plunging down
the raucous roller coaster
plunging down
heart hard heart cold to you
and . . .
do I dare
to reach to reach
up to reach up to you
to claim mine luscious love?
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This article was provided by
AIDS Project Los Angeles.
It is a part of the publication Positive Living.
