How an Abandoned, Beloved Nightclub Saved My Life
April 25, 2017
Somewhere in a church basement, community room, rehab center or any space that will have us, there are a group of addicts and alcoholics who have miraculously crawled into a 12-step meeting in the hopes that they could stop using.
In 1985, I did just that -- only it wasn't a church basement, but an abandoned beloved nightclub and discothèque called the Electric Circus on St. Mark's Place in New York City's bohemian East Village. I had nine months off drugs and alcohol but I was smoking cigarettes like a fiend to make up for the loss. Miserable, single and no longer using, I forced myself to get to one of those 12-step meetings.
It's not exactly where I started my life journey. Two years prior, I was the toast of the downtown Manhattan music scene and recording my first album, fueled with cocaine and champagne.
But then my record label went bankrupt. Though I was considered a hot commodity and had offers, I had no manager.
Someone once recognized me and said, "Didn't I see you play The Ritz? What are you doing here?"
"The same thing you're doing," I answered. "Coping."
I was wandering the streets homeless, spending nights in coffee shops nursing a cup of coffee for shelter. The streets smelled like urine and garbage and nights were full of gunshot sounds, flashing red lights and sirens, arrests and running like rats out of abandoned buildings to avoid getting busted. I carried around my hot pink Betsey Johnson shopping bag filled with Spandex and a tulle petticoat just in case I got a gig. I was now officially a crazy bag lady.
But that one moment of clarity, the one many of us who have hit bottom have and can't fully account for, led to my surrender. I was in a shooting gallery watching mothers sell dope and serve up syringes around the kitchen table while their infants cried in dirty diapers and filthy cribs. My stomach turned. My polluted mind whispered, "You don't have to be here, Sherri. You have a family who loves you. You just have to call and get help."
In withdrawal, I called my dad's New York apartment from a phone booth. He and his girlfriend came and wrapped me in a blanket in the backseat of his car and drove me through the Lincoln Tunnel to New Jersey, where I crawled into a 30-day hospital detox followed by an upscale alcohol rehab for another 30 days. They confirmed what I knew -- that I was very sick and needed long-term treatment. I crawled into the next phase of my journey: an 18-month state-funded Catholic Charities Institution called Straight and Narrow in Paterson, New Jersey. I was the only Jew there and served nine months of a self-imposed sentence. I was desperate. No one would go there if they weren't.
The program had 12-step meetings, but only for the alcoholics. I identified as an addict, so I wasn't allowed to attend. Instead, I was subjected to months of confrontational group sessions: "Hey, you motherfucker! You're the lowerest form of life!"
The name-calling plowed my already shattered self-esteem into a nameless grave. I remember looking out of the brick building's window, the radio blasting Marvin Gaye's "Sexual Healing," with my shriveled hands submerged up to my elbows in sudsy water as I scrubbed pots and pans three times a day. It was a hardcore work program for addicts, stipulated by the courts as an alternative to jail. I was the newbie, so others wanted to know what brought me in. When I told them I actually volunteered to be there so I could stop using, they laughed and mocked me. I heard they were stealing my urine for their drug tests.
Not being court-stipulated, I was the only one of the 300 men and 15 women who was free to leave at any time -- and I eventually did, after nine months. That's a long time to go without sex! Plus, I wanted to get back to my career and other things I cared about before I became saturated with drugs. I was awake again. It was time to go. Before that, I'd had nothing left to lose except my life, so I was grateful to have been there.
I temporarily moved into my mom's place in Montclair, New Jersey, took a bus into New York and got a job working for my friend, the costume designer Betsey Johnson, whose career had bloomed while I was in the rehab program. A lot had changed while I was away. Clubs I used to frequent were closed. My all-night party town was down. There were long lines around the Chelsea Clinic and I didn't know it was because of a dreaded new disease that seemed to target gay men and injection drug users.
My life was very different from my last stint in the city. Now it was other friends who had record deals and were hitting the charts, with their videos playing on MTV -- and here I was starting over! I got an apartment that I shared with a friend who was still drinking like me. One night, while I was drinking at a bar, another friend came in with her entourage and manager. It turned out she'd gotten sober and asked if I'd like to go with her to an Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meeting.
I said, "No, I can't. I'm drinking."
"That doesn't matter," she said. "You can still go to a meeting."
"No. It's OK. I'm good."
So my friend walked back to her table while I continued to drink at the bar alone. Meanwhile, another friend who owned a big rock venue I used to play invited me into the club. "Come on in tonight," the friend said. "Tina Turner is playing."
This article was provided by TheBody.com.
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