April 15, 2015
When you think life has found a plateau and you can begin to find some normalcy, it has to shit on you, just to remind you, there is NO normal.
At least for us there is not. Things go from great to really bad, almost comically bad, in a matter of days. It happens so often we just laugh and wonder what's next.
Holding hands, we face our new scary-as-shit adventure together, usually coming out stronger than before. So a few months ago, when my husband's job that moved us halfway across the country from Seattle (where our most recent friends and most of my in-laws are) all the way to Texas where we knew just about no one "didn't work out," we'll just say, it almost didn't even surprise us. It took a few days of shock for us to move past it, and eventually see through the fog.
Basically, we got a free move to Texas, a new beginning in a place we never would have chosen for ourselves. We played with the idea of moving back to southern California to be near my mother and most of my close friends. We talked about Oregon to live near my older brother, upstate New York to live with my husband's aunt, the Truckee/ Lake Tahoe area to be near my father-in-law, or even Maine to be near my husband's friends. Texas was never even thought about.
Housing is affordable, the homes are huge and new compared to most places I have lived in, the jobs are many; however trees and real lakes are scarce compared to Seattle. It has lots of thunder and lightning storms; it has huge open sky where ever you go. It even has snow, well this year at least.
I found a full-time job doing data entry for medical insurance companies. I have been there now for almost a month and so far I love it. I get paid to type and NOT get yelled at by customers on the phone. I don't even have a phone on my desk.
Stay-home momming is not for everyone. I think Myles and I both had cabin fever; at least the move broke up the monotony, but we stopped doing a lot of things we loved doing together like going to the gym, or to see his grandma every week or on weekends when we needed some company. Myles misses his aunt Emmy. We miss parks in the woods on lakes, going for nature walks to pick berries. But now he can have friends, even some his own age. He needs to have kids to talk to and play make-believe with. Myles is back in school full time. I feel bad that he has been out of school since a month before Papa Ken moved in with us for cancer treatment. That was a LONG time ago.
Keanen had a job interview for an awesome place my first week of work; he was hired on the spot and has now been there for a week. He is making more than he was at his last job and is actually being trained for the position, unlike his last place.
In less than three months I will have real medical insurance which will come in handy because for some reason a few weeks ago my "free" state insurance was cancelled or shut off or something or another. I called the pharmacy to see if they had my refills since they were not mailed to me like they have been since November. The woman informed me that my insurance was declined and asked if I had a new type. I let her know "No, I actually got mine through you guys since I have none." She tried to run it with me on the phone and then said it was not going through, like it was a credit card or something. She then put me on hold for 20+ minutes and my phone died; unlike the old days I could not change phones and keep holding. I began work the following Monday. So again I am off my meds and I know based on my last numbers in October after being off my meds for only about a month I am no longer undetectable and hopefully I don't need a new prescription when I finally get my new insurance.
To get the "cheap rate" for my employer's insurance I can get a "well test" at my doctor's office ... Hmmmm. I'm pretty sure HIV is not on the WELL list of approved pre-existing medical conditions.
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Brooke grew up in San Diego, Calif., and from a young age she wanted to change the world with her words. She has been writing poetry since 1992, and majored in journalism in school.
She was diagnosed with AIDS when she was eleven weeks pregnant in her first year of marriage. She is now a single mother living in Long Beach, Calif.
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