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Worry Wart

May 31, 2014

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Yikes! Don't lie to me and then end with ..." I promise" because that's the quickest way of finding yourself in the wilderness lost. But being me, I went along with it. Mike also made it his task to ensure he was bringing back food for me. Ha ... another lie. But I'm jumping ahead of myself here. With dick hard as sheet rock, Mike's aggressive demeanor truly turned me on along with his "Houston boyish charm." Plus, in my mind, I knew what this really was, I knew he wanted to fuck and all of the sweet nothings, ambition and tenderness was nothing more than a fake ID to get in my "hot club".

"Let's wait for later on tonight ... why are we in a rush?" Perplexed, Mike felt the need to go ahead and pursue his true M.O.

Disappointed and slightly annoyed, as much as I was needing some sexual healing and feeling, I honestly wanted to be held and here he was not fulfilling my needs, yet all of his were met. So I once again reverted back to the settling Antron I diligently work hard not to revert back to. I had a weak moment. So instead of voicing my disdain I, as usual, rolled with the punches and allowed Mike to take over and deny my true feelings. It was a time frame of wrestling with my horniness and my heart. The horniness won this battle. Why not accept him for what he is - a duck. He's quacking, smacking and cackling (on the phone) like a duck ... so I just said to myself "Chile ... ride him to oblivion and say thank you and be done (no pun intended)."

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Finally! I thought to myself, after all of this "Where's Waldo," he performs male attention I've been craving for. Two days prior to his random visitation I'd shaved my back door cha-cha and a hair bump formed. Nothing serious. However when he was "feeling around," I began giving him lip service Mike places me onto my back and inserts himself, teasing pleasurably my hormones. Then he pulls out. After a few wack ass pumps he pulls out. WHAT THE FUCKERY! He literally stops and grabs his pants thus commencing getting dressed. Confused by his sudden action, I laid in bed looking around wondering where Ashton Kutcher and his cameras were feeling Punk'd.

He closed the bathroom door, which I found odd since I just saw all of his package, Mike resurrects only to begin asking question regarding my health.

"Are you taking medications?"

While puzzled I answered him and continued solving this mystery of sudden 21 questions. He knew about my status, I mean, really I'm on billboards and displays across the country for CDC's "Let's Stop HIV Together" posing alongside my best friend looking fab. So trust me, if the world knows, he definitely would know since he's entering my body. The phone rings, Mike takes the call into the bathroom. Oh so now he wants to be 007 and shit. A series of questions began rushing through and then it hit me like a raging runaway train crashing my soul. At this point, I knew I would never see him again. A dressed Mike exits the bathroom silent and cold once more. Aware of what was to come I decided to humor him as he's standing in my threshold lying once more-this time not making eye contact whatsoever.

"Are you going to give me a kiss before you go" were the last words I would utter to him. Not knowing he'd stolen my MARY to take to the next fuck. When I texted him a question of whether we were eating out or in, his reply ... "Why! What do you want?" I knew then he wasn't coming back.

The saga continues ...

Thursday 1:32am

I awoke in the middle of the night feeling some kind of way about the series of events from earlier. Grabbed a glass of water when the alert from MADISON sounded informing my new text messages. It reads:

"Just getting in, didn't appreciate the warts I felt all in your ass. So that's why you wanted me to fuck you later the night so I don't see anything. I LIKE TO SEE the pussy I'm fucking. Plus I don't need no HIV on my dick. And your breath ain't right! You need to get all of that fixed and stop trying to give people something!"

BITCH! When I saw this I replied:

YOU HAVE ME REALLY EXTREMELY FUCKED UP RIGHT NOW, WARTS! REALLY?! YOU REALLY BELIEVE I WOULD DISRESPECT ME AND ANYONE ELSE THAT WAY! INSTEAD OF ASSUMING YOU NARC! YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED AND I DIDN'T KNOW A HAIRBUMP WAS PLURAL! YOU STOLE FROM ME AND THEN YOU LIED, ATE UP MY SHIT IN THE VILLA I RESIDE in SINGLY AND YOU HAVE NERVE TO TALK ABOUT ME WHEN YOU LIVE WITH THREE OTHER PEOPLE BARELY WITH A POT TO PISS IN, NO JOB,BEGGING ME LIKE BIGGIE SMALLS AND YOU'RE JUST A SAD LONELY DWARF WHO WILL ALWAYS SEEK TO FILL A VOID! N***A, WHILE YOURE SO BUSY LETTING YOUR DICK NAVIGATE YOU TO YOUR NEXT VICTIM YOU MET OFF FROM JACK'D WITH THE MARTA PASS YOU STOLE AND THE GREEN YOU TOOK WHY DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THE NEXT BITCH WHOSE GOING TO GIVE YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE. BETTER YET WHY DON'T YOU STOP KIDDING YOURSELF AND JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP YET YOURE JUST EVIL AND ANOTHER THING ... YOU PULLED OUT BECAUSE YOURE A ONE MINUTE MAN AND DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS YOURSELF. YOU TRIED IT WITH MY BREATH! THAT'S FINE BECAUSE CREST TOOTHPASTE AND I ARE FRIENDS. YOU JUST WANTED TO HURT MY FEELINGS. WELL, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND HAVE A BLEACH ON THE ROCKS ... ON MY TAB. YOU HAVE A NICE LIFE AND GO TO THE HELL YOU BELONG TO. BTW! YOUR MAMMY!

SIGNED
OLUKA

His reply:

Baby, I'm sorry, I got scared, I really like you and I can be myself with you. I didn't know what else to do. Please give me another chance.

And of course my last response:

Ha! Oompa Loompa! MAN-UP! DON'T CALL, TEXT OR BREATHE MY NAME. DELETED!

I must admit he did hurt my feelings, yet I realized I allowed this dragon into my castle instead of letting his stay in his dungeon. So I took responsibility on the part of having knowledge he was a bad seed and still tried to make it grow. You can't change anyone or assume they've changed so quickly. Change comes with wisdom and process and I again should have known better. Mike taught me a lesson and it's important ... never invite winter death into spring harvest. In other words, let the past stay there and rot!

Until next time my loves, I have more epic sagas to come. Stay tuned!

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This article was provided by TheBody.com.

See Also
TheBody.com's HIV/AIDS Resource Center for African Americans
HIV and Me: An African American's Guide to Living With HIV
More Personal Accounts on African Americans and HIV


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Antron Reshaud

Antron Reshaud Olukayode

A glance into the world of a HIV Positive young African American artist navigating the Atlanta safari with love, sex and art. From the crazies to the serious, the life of award winning artist Antron Reshaud Olukayode is anything but dull.

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