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NEGATIVE: HIV-Negative Gay Men Speaking for Themselves (Video)

April 29, 2014

"Talk to me like you talk to your friends when no one is around."

That was my only request when I sat down with each of four HIV-negative gay men to create a short film about their lives and attitudes.

Inspiring stories of people living with HIV.

They held back nothing, sharing details of their sex lives, their fears of becoming infected, and, perhaps most surprising, what they really think of HIV-positive guys. I couldn't believe their candor, and have worked to distill two days of explicit conversations into 10 minutes of brutal honesty (the language is sometimes NSFW [not suitable/safe for work]).

They don't speak for every gay man, only for themselves, and the differences of opinion between them is really striking. It really is a snapshot of what it means to be a negative and sexually active gay man these days. No matter which of these men you might relate to the most, there's no doubt they are all just trying to carve out a satisfying sexual existence during a pretty confusing time.

Mark S. King

Mark S. King

I couldn't help thinking of The Golden Girls when I was editing, because all the archetypes are here: the reserved one, the sensible one, the endearing one and the man-eater. Just saying this makes me guilty of the very thing the video is meant to address: how easily we label ourselves and others, and how we try to assign the same perspective to entire groups of people.

I deliberately produced this without any particular context. No one is presented as right or wrong. It is meant to provide a forum for these men to speak their truth without interruption -- and perhaps help us see them as men stumbling through life as we all are, trying to make the best decisions they can with the information they have. I refuse to judge them for that.

If there is anything to be learned from this video, it is that there is no monolithic HIV-negative perspective. Gay men are far too diverse for that. That's a lesson our community seems to have to learn over and over again.

Copyright © 2014 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All rights reserved.

More From This Resource Center

Undetectable Viral Load and HIV Prevention: What Do Gay and Bi Men Need to Know?

Do HIV-Negative Gay Men Need Condoms if They're on PrEP? Here's What I Tell My Patients

This article was provided by TheBody.
See Also
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Reader Comments:

Comment by: Kent (Menlo Park, Ca) Thu., Mar. 19, 2015 at 4:13 pm UTC
So, I've been sexually active with men for 40 years and I'm still HIV negative. I want to challenge the notion that if your a man having sex with men, that HIV is inevitable. And I also do not plan on paying the pharmaceutical companies a tax for the rest of my life to have sex.
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Comment by: Dev (Cbus) Mon., May. 19, 2014 at 5:57 pm UTC
The audio quality on the video makes it hard to hear certain parts and the music at the end makes it very difficult to understand what anyone is saying. Otherwise, interesting video.
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Comment by: CT (NYC) Thu., May. 8, 2014 at 2:54 am UTC
Once again, another great eye-opening piece. Keep up the great work!
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Comment by: Richard (London, Ontario) Mon., May. 5, 2014 at 11:27 am UTC
Great video; really enjoyed as was pointed out, the diversity of opinions. Also wonderful to see such honesty around such a complicated topic. Definitely there are already so many barriers in the lgbt community, nice to see an open discussion.
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Comment by: David (Myrtle Beach, SC) Thu., May. 1, 2014 at 5:46 pm UTC
I'm HIV positive. I've found the gay community as a whole here in Myrtle Beach to be very mean and hateful to HIV positive men. I've been told by a guy that's supposed to be HIV negative that he would even want to touch me with his finger because he says that I am so nasty because I am HIV positive. How would that make you feel? Here in Myrtle Beach there are NO dates or sex for HIV positive men that disclose their status.
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Replies to this comment:
Comment by: phillip r. (Los Angeles) Tue., May. 6, 2014 at 11:07 pm UTC
First thing that comes to mind is MOVE! Why would you want to stay there/ Can't be any combo of job, family, lifestyle or who knows what that could or ought to keep you in such an awful place with such an awful 'Gay' community. This is 2014, not 1985 for God's sake. Saave your $$'s, Take your dog/cat, get in your car and GO. Yes, it is just that easy.

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