April 11, 2014
"No cellphones gentleman" said the bouncer.
Rashid, the birthday boy, turned around to return his to the car while I chit-chatted with security. A world of endless possibilities opened up to us with 808 speakers blasting some current hood music, patrons spectating, drooling and fantasizing the entertainers with cups in hand and Mary perfuming the air. It was as if SIZZLE MIAMI and FLAVA MAGAZINE came to life. The kids lived, died and were resurrected! I'd never seen so much ass, dick, timbs (timberland boots) and fitted caps in one setting. Marveling at the skill sets of those who were clearly confident, Nicki Minaj provided soundtrack for the ongoing performance as red, blue, green, purple, and yellow strobe lights and created ambience throughout the tight hole in the wall (no pun intended). I, on the other hand, just got off from a 12 hour shift and wasn't exactly in a partying mood. With no Mary or drink just imagine how overwhelming to partake this space clearly new to this level of striptease. I've never been big on stripper culture, nothing against it or strippers but it's just not my scene (you have my two trips to Swinging Richards to thank for that but that's another post ... can't give it up to you just yet).
As the night progressed -- a few trips to the overcrowded bathroom and just my luck I ran into some security guards I knew and found a gardener. Truly thankful! From Mary being rolled in the stalls to one of the kids telling his Judy's (best friend) his plot to "beat a bitch ass" (which was my signal to exit) I too fired up. Ahh ... .the calming sensation of LOUD ... with my nerves eased and the puff-puff passing to some people I knew the crowd grew every second of the hour. The MC walked through the crowd with microphone at hand (fine as hell, may I add) brushes by from behind while checking me out. He announces dancers' specials and back room happenings ... if you know what I mean.
"Y'all know what you came here for ... don't front ... you know what it is ... THIS IS IN THE CUT ... the number one spot for all of your pleasure," commented the MC as Rashid and I looked over to each over and shrugged our shoulders. We knew what was on the menu and imagined what the specials of the day were and even wondered how many of these folks washed their hands. I felt a certain need of a shower in my soul after witnessing dick slinging, straddles and constant bending over-all of that made me exhausted. To sum it up in a nutshell, a typical Black Gay Atlanta brochure with the exception of clothes. To me, it was more "What's the point?" I can't get any of it without coming out of pocket and I don't pay for something I can get for free or can do for me for free( and baby I do it well!).
Dewayne, a friend of Rashid from New Orleans met up after the show commenced. The models are now looming among the crowd in search for their payday. I became a payee when suddenly a slender chocolate model with a huge dick appeared before my eyes grinding on me. I stood there unmoved and yet he was working so hard to earn this dollar. So I gave it to him. Honestly I was in the mood to go to bed but Rashid asked me to accompany him and I couldn't say no to celebrate someone who's been very important in my life. Not expecting anything to transpire, just looking forward to getting acquainted with Mary and a drink in my hands as I watched my big brother jamming to the beat with freshly done braids and that Birthday glow.
The plot thickens ... WARNING: COCK BLOCKER ALERT COCK BLOCKER ALERT!!!
I'm doing me, playing eye tags with attractive specimens, a nice looking older gentleman is watching me from afar and HARD! I knew this because I could feel him staring thus creating sweat on the back of my neck and my side eye always does me justice. He wanted to say something and also I could tell in his eyes he wanted to strip me down for him hence his dick growing harder by the second.
"How are you?" he asked with an accent. Apparently he'd been inquiring about me and was encouraged to introduce himself. I returned the gesture and continued being in my world. He commenced conversing and I decided to be nice and entertain him for a bit when really I just wanted to be left alone, which was new for me. In the midst of a strippers straddling ( who is a familiar porn star) and groping, Gary, from Jamaica, extended his hand and as I extended mine he pulls me closer and begins feeling me up. I slap his hands and told him to chill the fuck out:
"If you want to feel up that's what the strippers are for! I get you're from the Caribbean and all but I'm not that available for your discretion! I'm not easy access! Take me on a date first!"
"You wouldn't consider this to be a date?!"
(Blank stare) Now reader, what do you think my answer to this question was ... right ... HELL NO!
While he's pulling on me some more a kiss is planted and all I could do was be stunned and startled. I didn't come here for all of this. I just wanted to hang with Rashid and watch him swing his braids for the gods. Not being felt up and assumed to like this treatment. 20 minutes of cock blocking later, Gary took it up a notch by lifting my shirt up and sucking on my nipples (and y'all know that's my spot). I grew suffocated and annoyed, men who once paid me attention were no longer interested for in their minds, Gary, who I just met by the way, was my man and no one else couldn't have me and he made it clear. Ugh and shade! I began dancing on random strangers to get away from Gary however my attempt didn't go so well, he followed me pelvis first bumping and grinding as if I was enjoying it. I tried moving closer to Rashid, however, once again Gary is all on my booty-just being a completely cock blocking foreign bugaboo. You would think he got the hint the first time when I retreated.
I know what you're thinking: why didn't you just tell him what you wanted him to know which is you're not that into him.
Believe me ... I tried.
Gary was beginning to pluck my everlasting nerves when longtime friend and HIV Activist Michael came around walking through all Zulu Warrior sexy to my rescue. I latched on him as if my life were hanging in the balance. And it was -- my sex life, that is.
"MICHAEL ... SOOOO GLAAAAD TO SEEEE YOUUUU!!!" I said as he returns his loving gesture with a smile and whisked me off to the next room. Apparently he noticed the SOS I was sending. Two minutes and counting, still waiting to go to the bathroom, Michael returned passing out condoms with his backpack as a caramel skinned man is standing on the wall working his sector looking over at me and smiled. His name was Romeo, a DC native who was digging the chocolate standing before him.
"Let me guess, you're escaping someone." Romeo guessed.
"How did you know?'
"I know that look, plus you're catching your breathe, you couldn't run away fast enough," Romeo chuckled.
"Yes! He wasn't letting me breathe, all bugaboo and shit, damn Negro we just met!"
We both shared a chuckle and greeted one another. After shooting the breeze for a few minutes, I guess I was gone far too long and here comes Gary once again doing a search party and behold he finds me. I smiled (fake of course) and was pointed to where Gary was going to be standing. He exits to his spot.
"Is that him?' asked Romeo.
"Unfortunately yes, he wanna wife me before a first date, he thinks I'm a quicker picker upper hoe."
Romeo laughed some more and shook his head.
"Well can you blame him ... he's got good taste," Romeo exclaimed. He made it his business to ensure his interest yet it came to a halt when he was radioed requesting his assistance. He gave me his number and told me to give him a call sometime. Soon as I walked away ... I run into Gary. Damn! He must have a GPS chip on my ass without my knowledge. Now he's definitely turning me off and again I just wanted to be left alone. Usually I would be more than grateful for this attention however lately I haven't really been in the mood or had any interest in it and dare I say even turned it down.
While Rashid is still dancing for the rain gods, Gary takes his obsession another notch, NOW he's TELLING guys I'm his! Whoa when did this happen? Was I drugged? I have not one recollection of this union, by this time a drink was in order. Luckily, I knew the VIP ticket master, explained the situation of my failed escape plans, Donnie gave me a ticket and I made my way over to the bar ... far-far away from Gary's immediate sight. In one gulp, my sex on the beach was gone. For a minute, I had a breather and some thoughts came to mind, how many people felt the way I was feeling when it came to love, being done with its not so funny magic tricks and how many of these strippers didn't really want to do this particular profession? I wondered the number of people who were looking for love and affection I was finding myself running away from or at least the idea of affection. I guess I've just grown to a space where I'm not so easily disappointed, nonchalant if you will.
I made up my mind to avoid any desires of looking for love, not rejecting it but putting it on the back burner for a change and enjoy the beauty of singlehood. We get so caught up compensating for our loneliness we pay much more than what it's worth. Gary finally found me before the a.m. was coming to a close. Rashid was ready to rest his bone as was I. He hands me his number on a napkin (so cliché) and "promises" to call me. I wasn't expecting to hear from him and as he walks off I throw the napkin in the trash. What's the point when I already know what it's leading to -- a dial tone and a colored gay's fare to nowhere! Rashid and I walked to the car laughing about the entire night all the way home.