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In the Cut

April 11, 2014

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While he's pulling on me some more a kiss is planted and all I could do was be stunned and startled. I didn't come here for all of this. I just wanted to hang with Rashid and watch him swing his braids for the gods. Not being felt up and assumed to like this treatment. 20 minutes of cock blocking later, Gary took it up a notch by lifting my shirt up and sucking on my nipples (and y'all know that's my spot). I grew suffocated and annoyed, men who once paid me attention were no longer interested for in their minds, Gary, who I just met by the way, was my man and no one else couldn't have me and he made it clear. Ugh and shade! I began dancing on random strangers to get away from Gary however my attempt didn't go so well, he followed me pelvis first bumping and grinding as if I was enjoying it. I tried moving closer to Rashid, however, once again Gary is all on my booty-just being a completely cock blocking foreign bugaboo. You would think he got the hint the first time when I retreated.

I know what you're thinking: why didn't you just tell him what you wanted him to know which is you're not that into him.

Believe me ... I tried.

Gary was beginning to pluck my everlasting nerves when longtime friend and HIV Activist Michael came around walking through all Zulu Warrior sexy to my rescue. I latched on him as if my life were hanging in the balance. And it was -- my sex life, that is.

"MICHAEL ... SOOOO GLAAAAD TO SEEEE YOUUUU!!!" I said as he returns his loving gesture with a smile and whisked me off to the next room. Apparently he noticed the SOS I was sending. Two minutes and counting, still waiting to go to the bathroom, Michael returned passing out condoms with his backpack as a caramel skinned man is standing on the wall working his sector looking over at me and smiled. His name was Romeo, a DC native who was digging the chocolate standing before him.

"Let me guess, you're escaping someone." Romeo guessed.

"How did you know?'

"I know that look, plus you're catching your breathe, you couldn't run away fast enough," Romeo chuckled.

"Yes! He wasn't letting me breathe, all bugaboo and shit, damn Negro we just met!"

We both shared a chuckle and greeted one another. After shooting the breeze for a few minutes, I guess I was gone far too long and here comes Gary once again doing a search party and behold he finds me. I smiled (fake of course) and was pointed to where Gary was going to be standing. He exits to his spot.

"Is that him?' asked Romeo.

"Unfortunately yes, he wanna wife me before a first date, he thinks I'm a quicker picker upper hoe."

Romeo laughed some more and shook his head.

"Well can you blame him ... he's got good taste," Romeo exclaimed. He made it his business to ensure his interest yet it came to a halt when he was radioed requesting his assistance. He gave me his number and told me to give him a call sometime. Soon as I walked away ... I run into Gary. Damn! He must have a GPS chip on my ass without my knowledge. Now he's definitely turning me off and again I just wanted to be left alone. Usually I would be more than grateful for this attention however lately I haven't really been in the mood or had any interest in it and dare I say even turned it down.

While Rashid is still dancing for the rain gods, Gary takes his obsession another notch, NOW he's TELLING guys I'm his! Whoa when did this happen? Was I drugged? I have not one recollection of this union, by this time a drink was in order. Luckily, I knew the VIP ticket master, explained the situation of my failed escape plans, Donnie gave me a ticket and I made my way over to the bar ... far-far away from Gary's immediate sight. In one gulp, my sex on the beach was gone. For a minute, I had a breather and some thoughts came to mind, how many people felt the way I was feeling when it came to love, being done with its not so funny magic tricks and how many of these strippers didn't really want to do this particular profession? I wondered the number of people who were looking for love and affection I was finding myself running away from or at least the idea of affection. I guess I've just grown to a space where I'm not so easily disappointed, nonchalant if you will.

I made up my mind to avoid any desires of looking for love, not rejecting it but putting it on the back burner for a change and enjoy the beauty of singlehood. We get so caught up compensating for our loneliness we pay much more than what it's worth. Gary finally found me before the a.m. was coming to a close. Rashid was ready to rest his bone as was I. He hands me his number on a napkin (so cliché) and "promises" to call me. I wasn't expecting to hear from him and as he walks off I throw the napkin in the trash. What's the point when I already know what it's leading to -- a dial tone and a colored gay's fare to nowhere! Rashid and I walked to the car laughing about the entire night all the way home.

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This article was provided by TheBody.

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With Love ATL

Antron Reshaud

Antron Reshaud Olukayode

A glance into the world of a HIV Positive young African American artist navigating the Atlanta safari with love, sex and art. From the crazies to the serious, the life of award winning artist Antron Reshaud Olukayode is anything but dull.

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