"No cellphones gentleman" said the bouncer.
Rashid, the birthday boy, turned around to return his to the car while I chit-chatted with security. A world of endless possibilities opened up to us with 808 speakers blasting some current hood music, patrons spectating, drooling and fantasizing the entertainers with cups in hand and Mary perfuming the air. It was as if SIZZLE MIAMI and FLAVA MAGAZINE came to life. The kids lived, died and were resurrected! I'd never seen so much ass, dick, timbs (timberland boots) and fitted caps in one setting. Marveling at the skill sets of those who were clearly confident, Nicki Minaj provided soundtrack for the ongoing performance as red, blue, green, purple, and yellow strobe lights and created ambience throughout the tight hole in the wall (no pun intended). I, on the other hand, just got off from a 12 hour shift and wasn't exactly in a partying mood. With no Mary or drink just imagine how overwhelming to partake this space clearly new to this level of striptease. I've never been big on stripper culture, nothing against it or strippers but it's just not my scene (you have my two trips to Swinging Richards to thank for that but that's another post ... can't give it up to you just yet).
As the night progressed -- a few trips to the overcrowded bathroom and just my luck I ran into some security guards I knew and found a gardener. Truly thankful! From Mary being rolled in the stalls to one of the kids telling his Judy's (best friend) his plot to "beat a bitch ass" (which was my signal to exit) I too fired up. Ahh ... .the calming sensation of LOUD ... with my nerves eased and the puff-puff passing to some people I knew the crowd grew every second of the hour. The MC walked through the crowd with microphone at hand (fine as hell, may I add) brushes by from behind while checking me out. He announces dancers' specials and back room happenings ... if you know what I mean.
"Y'all know what you came here for ... don't front ... you know what it is ... THIS IS IN THE CUT ... the number one spot for all of your pleasure," commented the MC as Rashid and I looked over to each over and shrugged our shoulders. We knew what was on the menu and imagined what the specials of the day were and even wondered how many of these folks washed their hands. I felt a certain need of a shower in my soul after witnessing dick slinging, straddles and constant bending over-all of that made me exhausted. To sum it up in a nutshell, a typical Black Gay Atlanta brochure with the exception of clothes. To me, it was more "What's the point?" I can't get any of it without coming out of pocket and I don't pay for something I can get for free or can do for me for free( and baby I do it well!).
The plot thickens ... WARNING: COCK BLOCKER ALERT COCK BLOCKER ALERT!!!
I'm doing me, playing eye tags with attractive specimens, a nice looking older gentleman is watching me from afar and HARD! I knew this because I could feel him staring thus creating sweat on the back of my neck and my side eye always does me justice. He wanted to say something and also I could tell in his eyes he wanted to strip me down for him hence his dick growing harder by the second.
"How are you?" he asked with an accent. Apparently he'd been inquiring about me and was encouraged to introduce himself. I returned the gesture and continued being in my world. He commenced conversing and I decided to be nice and entertain him for a bit when really I just wanted to be left alone, which was new for me. In the midst of a strippers straddling ( who is a familiar porn star) and groping, Gary, from Jamaica, extended his hand and as I extended mine he pulls me closer and begins feeling me up. I slap his hands and told him to chill the fuck out:
"If you want to feel up that's what the strippers are for! I get you're from the Caribbean and all but I'm not that available for your discretion! I'm not easy access! Take me on a date first!"
"You wouldn't consider this to be a date?!"
(Blank stare) Now reader, what do you think my answer to this question was ... right ... HELL NO!