I'm overlooking Atlanta as my heart types the words bubbling to come forth. I've finally gotten here, in the place of not desiring love as much as I used to. I ran after so many people for so long trying to keep them around when in reality I wasn't as much as a second thought. From Corey telling me I was the one and then reneging the next day (will explain in a later flashback blog) to bad date after bad date and mediocre sex, I've grown extremely overit.com. Lately this marriage business has been a hot topic being that I'm observing various scenarios surrounding it. From my brother Quenton marrying his long term partner Alfonce (CONGRATS TO THEM BOTH!! I LOVE YOU) to dealing with it head on when the question was posed "AM I READY TO COMMIT?" to a friend of a friend cheating on his husband with another friend of my friend who are mutual friends (I hope that made sense) after being married only since February. It's scary, annoying, redundant and somewhat unnecessary all at once. I could be speaking from my slightly cynical views due to too many bad endings and cliffhangers in my own story or it could stem from the ten years of experiences inhabiting among the shady paunchy and basic, tiresome internet hookups, "no fat no fem policies" and bylaws, bad advertising of solaces and misleading social brochures.
With Mary perfuming the air, Lyn, myself and her man Ty were enjoying the atmosphere of my villa with a soundtrack playing in the background. We began interpreting my art when Corey buzzes my apartment. He enters the festivities and is face to face with Lyn and finally present in the flesh. Corey takes the grocery bag in his hand and places it on my countertop.
So, for a few weeks I've been enjoying the company of a wonderful soul who in such a short time has changed my life in more ways than one. His name is Corey. I met him at a random trip to Starbucks on 7th and Peachtree Midtown.
NEW MESSAGE! Showed up on my screen. It was Ralph confirming our birthday eve rendezvous.
"See you around ten?" he texted. I agreed and expressed excitement. I was turning 30 and feeling the change. This is such a blessing to make it ten years strong of HIV and see another year, another chapter of life. On top of having Ralph on top of me.
So after the Mike fiasco, I decided to give getting to know someone a break and like magic, Scotty shows up. I've known of him for at least a year before we've done anything sexual. I met him while filming a promo video for my project EQUINOX dancing in the middle of some artwork in the city when he slithered ... I mean, showed up. I knew he was interested and to be honest I was a bit annoyed, especially since I was in my creative mode.
Right now, I'm holding MADISON (my iPad) feeling completely and utterly overit.com, as if life's obstacles aren't problematic enough with so many layers and barriers presented to road block me. Oh the shade!
Lately I've been in the need of some male attention.
Singlehood and morning wood has never been so depressing (yes dramatic but it woke you up just now). I don't mind handling the situation yet it would be absolutely wonderful right now to have my head placed onto an Adonis' chest with his morning wood laying on my thigh, you know that romantic moment when it isn't planned or arranged.
"No cellphones gentleman" said the bouncer.
Rashid, the birthday boy, turned around to return his to the car while I chit-chatted with security. A world of endless possibilities opened up to us with 808 speakers blasting some current hood music, patrons spectating, drooling and fantasizing the entertainers with cups in hand and Mary perfuming the air. It was as if SIZZLE MIAMI and FLAVA MAGAZINE came to life. The kids lived, died and were resurrected! I'd never seen so much ass, dick, timbs (timberland boots) and fitted caps in one setting.
Thursday night, I was under the sheets of a familiar gentleman who has been in my life for about five years named Dre. He invited me over to provide winter heat and of course I obliged. After the traveling, I met the best friend of his roommate the moment I'm at the door. To be honest, I've had encounters where I've met one too many of the roommates, which left a bad taste in my mouth, but that's another post. This situation was tolerable, plus we were too busy getting reacquainted.