Valentine's Day for Women Living With HIV -- Finding Your Heart, Soul and Voice
February 11, 2014
Once [my husband] made the decision [to pursue a relationship with me], after entering a sexual relationship with me -- because we were dating and stuff, and I was holding off as long as I could to even tell him I was positive, which was about two weeks. We were going on a lot of dates, and he was trying to be really romantic. And I was giving these mixed messages because I liked him, but I had earlier experiences with even kissing a guy before I told him and then they freaked out. So I was really careful.
And then I told him after two weeks. He was very compassionate and sweet, right from the start. At the time I told him, he had been wondering, "Are you a lesbian? Do you even like me?" So when I told him, he was like, "Oh, that had to have been so hard for you all this time to have to keep that a secret." But he didn't say right away that he wanted to continue the relationship.
Around that same time, this earlier boyfriend who infected me with HPV, who I'd broken up with, was calling me all the time, trying to get back together. He wanted to marry me. One time, Robert was at my house and on the answering machine, Dan, this guy, was just leaving this long, drunken, "I want you back" message.
Well, that was kind of the day that Robert decided, "Yeah, I'm going to go for this." And he really has been wonderful, right from the start. It's the first time I've been in a relationship with an HIV-negative man (which was almost all of my relationships) where my HIV status has not been an issue at all. I feel normal. I feel like how I felt pre-HIV, when I felt like a normal person. So it's awesome. I love it.
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