January 12, 2014
When you look back at your life will you see nothing but regrets and mistakes? Will you be able to say that you have left a positive mark on this world?
At first, after recieving my diagnosis this idea first started to come to mind. These were those ignorant days when I truly believed that I was going to die any day. As I said, that was my era of ignorance.
I really started to think about what kind of mark I would leave on this world and to be honest, thinking about this just made me more depressed at the time. Yeah I had proudly served God, Country, and Corps honorably and yes I am more proud of that then you could imagine ... but so have countless others before me. So yes it is a positive mark on this world or at least I believe so, but I wanted to do something different.
I had no children at the time of my diagnosis and now it is even more unlikely that I ever will. So I had no new generation to carry on my family name or to be able to pass down all the knowledge my father has passed down to me. This will probably be one of the only things I truly regret in my life. I always said I never wanted kids but now it is a different story.
I do look back but I do not see mistakes, I now see hard learned lessons. As for regrets, we all have those, but we can always learn to start living each day to it's fullest.
As for what kind of mark I am going to leave on this world .... well I truly believe I am doing it now. I believe this blog and writing my experiences to share with others is the positive type of mark I want to leave on this world.
By learning from my mistakes and using what I have learned to teach others, I help give them the knowledge they need to not to make the same bad choices I did. By doing this I know I have helped to leave the world a little better and I am fine with that.
"Using education to teach the next generation"
Read Brian's blog, AMarineAnd HIV.