November 20, 2013
HIV stops with me! Please, if you know you have the virus, disclose before engaging in sexual relations. Do not put anyone at risk because of selfish reasons, or because of stigma, or because of fear of being turned down. I have never been rejected and I believe it's because I bring the subject up and feel the person out. I do not let my emotions get too deep before I disclose. I also know that a person has all the right to not want to deal with this situation or any situation. This is respectable!
Many write me from all over the world and tell me that they are married and they are afraid to tell their spouses because they cheated, or because of the fear to be left. PLEASE, it is much worse if you put someone at risk because of our mistakes! We have to take responsibility in our actions. I love my partner Lisa, and I gave her the choice as I have given the choice to all my ex partners. They have a right to know, and most of the time they will respect your honesty more.
It is very important to have self love as well -- know that you are worthy and not worthless for having a virus! Once you start having self worth and knowing how important you are and how blessed someone is to have you, you will attract people that see you exactly for who you are. Do not be afraid! If you go through any type of rejection, you move on and understand that the person was not meant for you. The perfect one will come your way and as I always say: YOU TEACH OTHERS HOW TO TREAT YOU.
And one more thing: I am very blessed to have an HIV-negative partner that loves me and understands my struggles ... but I do not like when others say, "Aww Maria, you are so blessed that Lisa accepted you with what you have!" Ummmm, NOT! I am super-blessed to have a wonderful person -- but she is blessed as well to have a human being like myself. She knows she is blessed to have me and I am blessed to have her.
One of the most important things we must learn is that we don't owe anyone anything for being with us. It is just a virus, and if a person is educated they know this!
Know your worth! Know your value! And please get tested! Protect yourself and get educated!
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER AND WE CAN STOP THE SPREAD OF HIV IF WE DO ALL THESE THINGS. That is why I chose to disclose and educate, and not spread this virus.
WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, and HIV stops with me.
Love and light,
Maria T. Mejia
Maria T. Mejia is a passionate activist, peer educator and caregiver. She is a 40-year-old Colombian female who lives in Miami, Fla. She's been living with HIV for more than 20 years, and she's happily married to a wonderful and caring HIV-negative woman.
Read Maria's blog, Time to Show My Face and Take the Stigma Away.