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Rejection and Stigma When Dating With HIV

By Warren Tong

September 12, 2013

"You need to get out," was the response Bart Lily (a pseudonym) received after disclosing his HIV status to a love interest he had chatted with for months.

In this personal piece from, Bart recounts his experience getting turned down because of his status, highlighting the nervousness and fear of deciding to disclose, as well as how pervasive HIV stigma still is.

"How had this gone so wrong? I'm up-front with my sexual partners about my status. Why not today? And if Paolo [the love interest] had such concerns, why not ask me beforehand? Was all he needed to hear that I was negative? What if I'd said it through deceit or because I didn't really know? Would he have barebacked me anyway and then just gone about his day?" Bart writes.

Read more about Bart's experience and share your thoughts about dating with HIV.

Warren Tong is the research editor for and

Follow Warren on Twitter: @WarrenAtTheBody.

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