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What's Monogamy Got to Do With Marriage?

Study Notes and Anecdotes From LGBT People in Committed, Non-Monogamous Partnerships

June 25, 2013

 9/13 

Lanz Lowen and Blake Spears

Lanz and Blake

How are gay marriage and non-monogamy operating alongside one another?

A considerable number of our "non-monogamous" couples were either already legally married or were making plans to wed. They saw marriage as a proclamation of their love and the power of their relationship (and secondarily as a political right). Monogamy vs. non-monogamy in terms of marriage didn't seem to enter into their thinking. At least from this side of the fence, it appears that gay marriage doesn't necessarily equate with being monogamous.

Our study was focused on open relationships, but we had great conversations along the way with couples who were in very rewarding long-term monogamous relationships. The espoused myths in our community are clearly erroneous. It's not true that honest, long-term monogamous relationships are non-existent, impossible or unsatisfying. It's also not true that non-monogamy is inevitable or non-enduring. We think it's preferable to support and sanction gay couples and gay marriage within the larger society, but also push for greater openness and communication about our actual relationships and what works for us.




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This article was provided by TheBody.com.
 

Reader Comments:

Comment by: craig larue (arkansas) Tue., Aug. 20, 2013 at 3:31 pm EDT
It is typical of publications that generate a large percentage of their income from pharmaceutical companies that sell HIV drugs that Olivia Ford is ambivilant about avoiding HIV. The concept of homosexuals avoiding HIV means less advertizing dollars for theBody and less money for articles normalizing HIV as a part of Gay life that should not be avoided or prevented unless one feels an unfashionable need to avoid HIV because of internalized homphobia.
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Comment by: ryan h. (dearborn mi 48124) Wed., Jun. 26, 2013 at 8:16 pm EDT
do not agree. all but a few on these type relationship i know have not worked. for awhile maybe but not long term. adult form committed partnerships. young boys feel the need for multiple guys. i dont know straight couples that this has worked for either.i certainly don't claim to be an expert just saying what i know to be true. i was lucky to has a committed 15 year relationship with a man who unfortunately passed away. ten years later i happily found another
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