Dave R. is one of TheBody.com's bloggers. Read his blog, HIV and Neuropathy: How to Avoid Becoming a Nervous Wreck.
Beyond the Shadows and Back
In '92 the unthinkable happened
and fate took away half of his soul,
as his only reason for living
slipped away and left him alone.
His tears fell as the mist came down in the evening
and were still falling the next morning,
when the sun burnt off that last of the dew
and the feeling of falling and falling
and never landing, or breaking his bones,
left him nevertheless broken,
inconsolable, bereft and apart from the world.
Ten years later, he lived a new life,
glued together from the ashes of the old
and he lived and he loved but the hole in his heart
grew larger and festered and he only forgot,
when he took solace in meetings both empty and cold.
Fate took pity and gave him the chalice
filled with the poison that had worked before
and he felt whole again but only by knowing
that through the white door was the love he'd lost,
who'd waited, watched and bided his time
because they needed each other no matter the cost.
Fate's final card was to rescue the living
and prevent him from dying and reuniting
with what he thought was the key to his life.
The drugs gave him strength and started him fighting
to drive out his demons and rebuild his soul.
He wanted to live for just the same reasons that
before he'd wanted to die.
He pasted his love, his grief and his memories
on pages of living and growing and encouraging men
to understand that life can have purpose,
when all seems so dark and beauty and hope are out of reach.
Fate gave him a talent to inspire and delight
and his lost love could see from beyond the mist
that he was loved even more and this was right.
Helping the living to regain their lives
reversed the desire to reunite in death.
Where for so long the survivor wanted nothing more
than to hold his lover in lifeless arms,
the roles were reversed and the ghost returned
to uplift his partner and give him strength,
as he battled to help men as troubled as him
to see that death is too final; life has so much more.