April 29, 2013
YOU GET TIRED! I know I must give hope and be "positive", but I have been in bed for 2 weeks with a horrible cold! FEVER, CHILLS, COUGH, ACHES, HEADACHE ... horrible!! I know we all get colds, but it just sucks when you have a freaking low immune system and multiple things are attacking you!! They also did a culture in the ER when Lisa took me April 18th and found a freaking bacteria Enterococcus (E coli) that I was told by my doc during the same situation.
So I got my results for VL and Tcells today..and THANK GOD I am undetectable! My Tcells did go down a little from the highest they have ever been 450 to 398..but it is still above 200!! And even 39 Tcells which is when I was at my lowest! Maybe they are even lower now that I am fighting this bacteria and strong viral cold ..but I am taking antibiotics. What keeps me going is that I am a STRONG FIGHTER! We all need to continue fighting! I may feel like shit now..but tomorrow is another day and at least I have medicine, and a person next to me that has my back! Many that pray for me and love me, and God that helps me to continue helping others even when I am sick! Today was the first day I got up from bed after 2 weeks! I am better and tomorrow will be another day! I HATE HIV/AIDS! Whennnnnnnnnnnn willllllllllllll pharma have the compassion and empathy to leave greed aside to maybe show more interest in finding a cure??? When??? 30 plus years with this bitch in our lives is enough! The system is overloaded! Drs are overloaded! THERE IS A LACK OF MEDS! FUNDS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY! AND PEOPLE CONTINUE TO GET INFECTED!
I dont want to end up bitter and just wash my hands and say EFF IT!.. I TRIED AND I TRIED and people should know better these days! Protect themselves, etc! But I have empathy and compassion and I hope I never lose this! As I was told by my doctor today ... THANK GOD THAT Enterococcus (E coli) DIDNT GET IN YOUR BLOOD!! Because I would have been deathly ill!! It amazes me how I could have this for quite some time, have so many fevers etc and still be here and there..non stop! I am glad I was able to celebrate my 40th bday happy ... even if the next day I dropped sick in bed with all of the symptoms mentioned above.
I am sorry everyone if I am cursing ..but I am frustrated and tired But I will not lose hope and keep on keeping on. I will continue to have that fighting spirit and just continue taking care of myself and hope to make it to Miami AIDS walk tomorrow I will try and my spirit will continue to push me through<3
I am not always love and light as you can see..I AM HUMAN !
Please send me prayers, love and light
Love you all <3
Maria T Mejia