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AIDS Is a Bitch

April 29, 2013

This article was cross-posted from "A Girl Like Me," a program of The Well Project.

Maria T. Mejia

YOU GET TIRED! I know I must give hope and be "positive", but I have been in bed for 2 weeks with a horrible cold! FEVER, CHILLS, COUGH, ACHES, HEADACHE ... horrible!! I know we all get colds, but it just sucks when you have a freaking low immune system and multiple things are attacking you!! They also did a culture in the ER when Lisa took me April 18th and found a freaking bacteria Enterococcus (E coli) that I was told by my doc during the same situation.

So I got my results for VL and Tcells today..and THANK GOD I am undetectable! My Tcells did go down a little from the highest they have ever been 450 to 398..but it is still above 200!! And even 39 Tcells which is when I was at my lowest! Maybe they are even lower now that I am fighting this bacteria and strong viral cold ..but I am taking antibiotics. What keeps me going is that I am a STRONG FIGHTER! We all need to continue fighting! I may feel like shit now..but tomorrow is another day and at least I have medicine, and a person next to me that has my back! Many that pray for me and love me, and God that helps me to continue helping others even when I am sick! Today was the first day I got up from bed after 2 weeks! I am better and tomorrow will be another day! I HATE HIV/AIDS! Whennnnnnnnnnnn willllllllllllll pharma have the compassion and empathy to leave greed aside to maybe show more interest in finding a cure??? When??? 30 plus years with this bitch in our lives is enough! The system is overloaded! Drs are overloaded! THERE IS A LACK OF MEDS! FUNDS ARE BEING TAKEN AWAY! AND PEOPLE CONTINUE TO GET INFECTED!

I dont want to end up bitter and just wash my hands and say EFF IT!.. I TRIED AND I TRIED and people should know better these days! Protect themselves, etc! But I have empathy and compassion and I hope I never lose this! As I was told by my doctor today ... THANK GOD THAT Enterococcus (E coli) DIDNT GET IN YOUR BLOOD!! Because I would have been deathly ill!! It amazes me how I could have this for quite some time, have so many fevers etc and still be here and there..non stop! I am glad I was able to celebrate my 40th bday happy ... even if the next day I dropped sick in bed with all of the symptoms mentioned above.

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I am sorry everyone if I am cursing ..but I am frustrated and tired But I will not lose hope and keep on keeping on. I will continue to have that fighting spirit and just continue taking care of myself and hope to make it to Miami AIDS walk tomorrow I will try and my spirit will continue to push me through<3

I am not always love and light as you can see..I AM HUMAN !

Please send me prayers, love and light

Love you all <3

Maria T Mejia

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This article was provided by The Well Project. Visit The Well Project's Web site to learn more about their resources and initiatives for women living with HIV. The Well Project shares its content with TheBody.com to ensure all people have access to the highest quality treatment information available. The Well Project receives no advertising revenue from TheBody.com or the advertisers on this site. No advertiser on this site has any editorial input into The Well Project's content.
 
See Also
HIV & Me: A Guide to Living With HIV for Hispanics
The Body en Español
More Personal Accounts of HIV in the U.S. Latino Community

Reader Comments:

Comment by: Monica (San Antonio Tx ) Wed., May. 22, 2013 at 10:00 pm EDT
I just read your story , I am sending my prayer to you and your family ..I hope every thing goes well for you .and .you are one brave girl to come out and tell your story to us ....just keep your head up high ........
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Comment by: Maria (Miami) Tue., May. 28, 2013 at 1:34 pm EDT
Thank you very much :) I am very happy that the storm passed and I am healthy again :) I am a natural born fighter xo


Comment by: bhanu (india) Wed., May. 22, 2013 at 12:38 pm EDT
I am sorry,I hate god
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Comment by: Maria (Miami) Tue., May. 28, 2013 at 1:33 pm EDT
I am sorry that you hate God ;( try not to lose your faith in something :) I am much better now and very blessed xo


Comment by: Michael D. (Birmingham UK) Tue., May. 21, 2013 at 7:57 pm EDT
I wish you all the best Maria. xx
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Comment by: maria (miami) Tue., May. 28, 2013 at 1:33 pm EDT
Thank you..I am very glad the storm passed :)


Comment by: Baxter A. Thomas-Bey (New York, New York) Fri., May. 10, 2013 at 8:41 pm EDT
Dear Queen Maria T. Mejia:

I was moved by your story, and I will pray for you. Keep this in mind, yes, AIDS suck, but you can beat it. Faith is the key!!! Life is about ups and downs, and when you are down get up higher, its in you Queen!! You are "G-D" best creation, and He would not leave you by yourself. He is watching over you, TRUST in that Truth, that I am sharing with you. I am a living witness and have beat death four times, and if I can do it so can you!! AIDS is living with you, not you with AIDS. Words are powerful. What you think you are. Think life, and not AIDS or death. Be strong, and keep the faith. Here is my personal E-mail, livingfaith01@gmail.com, if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you. With "G-D"'s LOVE to LOVE, you are "G-D"s love, that gives you POWER!!
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Comment by: Maria (Miami) Mon., May. 13, 2013 at 2:51 pm EDT
thank you so much for your words

love and light and God bless


Comment by: tina (charlotte) Fri., May. 10, 2013 at 5:09 pm EDT
I be try to tell stories on this page for a long time now make you can help me out because someone need to know this HIV so can you let know how to get on think you much for here for me.
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Comment by: Maria (Miami) Mon., May. 13, 2013 at 2:50 pm EDT
start by making vlogs on youtube and being active on face book and twiiter and also doing volunteer work in your local aso

love and light


Comment by: Anonymous Thu., May. 9, 2013 at 10:37 pm EDT
Hang in there Maria. I've had this for about 30 years or more now. A friend I shared needles with wasn't lucky enough to even get the chance to be on meds that work. He past in 1986, 4 years after he first injected me with the needle he used and a few months after our last time sharing. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. So until they allow a cure to go public I will use my time learning how to overcome whatever issues this virus throws at me. My CD-4/T-cell count is doing the best it has ever done since I switched over to newer meds, Truvada & Isentress. I was on Kaletra, Trizivir & Viread since 2001. My CD-4 wasn't higher than in the mid 300's on old meds, almost 700 now. Only problem now is that my immune system is doing so much better now that it's attacking my body giving auto-immune issues now. Issues like several types of arthitis, psoriasis, a high level of inflammation in the blood, a low bone density caused by a low testosterone level, to name a few, which gave me numerous stress fractures in my feet. This virus is smart and adapts/mutates, finding new places to hide which ends up in new issues that come with having it. Our best way to live our life to the fullest is to see the necessary doctors needed to treat our issues, mentally as well as physically, and keep the focus on ourselves getting the rest, nutrients our bodies need & to keep mobile, more than we may feel like being. We don't want to let this thing get us down in anyway. Fighting, as you say, is the only option we have if we want to live a somewhat normal life. If there's 1 thing I'm grateful for about getting AIDS/pc pnuemonia back in 2000 is that it has helped me to make the major lifestyle change I so much needed since I was 12 when I first started smoking & drinking, experimenting w/drugs started at 13. I struggled all through my life with addiction. For now I quit my vises, got spiritual, & learn from my experiences/past to make me somewhat a wiser person then I was yesterdays.
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Comment by: Maria (Miami) Mon., May. 13, 2013 at 2:49 pm EDT
thank you for your words ! we will continue trucking :)


Comment by: Monique (Philadelphia) Thu., May. 9, 2013 at 2:59 pm EDT
You'll be fine. I've heard worst, so don't apologize for the cursing.
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Comment by: maria (Miami) Mon., May. 13, 2013 at 2:51 pm EDT
:) thank you!! just a bad tme..I am better

love and light


Comment by: melinda (florida) Thu., May. 9, 2013 at 2:01 pm EDT
Happy belated 4oth birthday Maria!Keep kicken Hiv's butt!Hopefully the Danish scientists will cure all of us all really ,really,really, really soon...Stay Strong!:)
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Comment by: maria (miami) Mon., May. 13, 2013 at 2:48 pm EDT
thank you so much :)


Comment by: rambles (Jules) Sun., May. 5, 2013 at 5:52 pm EDT
Stop feeling sorry for yourself Maria.
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Comment by: MARIA T MEJIA (Miami) Mon., May. 6, 2013 at 7:57 pm EDT
well, everyone that knows me dear knows that I am strong and even at my weakest I am here to help others. I am actually not hiding behind a screename or not showing my face. I am one of those that are fighting to promote a cure,stomping on stigma and creating spaces for those that have HIV. I do it for free because it is my mission..but after 20 days battling with a bacteria like Ecoli I got very scared. AIDS is a bitch and I will never say otherwise. I am human. if it makes you feel better I am feeling much better. sending you much love and light


Comment by: b (Africa) Sun., May. 5, 2013 at 8:41 am EDT
God keeps strengthing you. Amen
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Comment by: MARIA T MEJIA (Miami) Mon., May. 6, 2013 at 7:54 pm EDT
Amen xo


Comment by: David Crowe (Calgary, AB) Fri., May. 3, 2013 at 6:04 pm EDT
How do you know that these are not drug side effects?
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Comment by: MARIA T MEJIA (Miami) Mon., May. 6, 2013 at 7:54 pm EDT
well, it is a bacteria called Ecoli..and I am finally passin the storm


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Time to Show My Face and Take the Stigma Away


Maria T. Mejia

Maria T. Mejia

I am a 37-year-old Colombian female who lives in Miami, Florida. I've been positive for 20 years. Although almost all my life I've been in long-term relationships with HIV-negative men, I am happily married to a woman who is wonderful and caring. We have been together almost three years and she is HIV negative. I have no children but we will look into having! I am an activist, a peer educator, a caregiver. I volunteered for the Red Cross in education for the Hispanic HIV community and also the American community. I was a pre- and post-test counselor. I have spoken in many conferences and done a lot of outreach in the community, especially in the schools for prevention and education. It is part of my everyday life to educate everyone I can on this subject. Being HIV positive is nothing to be ashamed about! We are strong women, and we will take away all the stigmas slowly but we have to open up.

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Read more blogs by women living with HIV/AIDS at "A Girl Like Me"

A Girl Like Me

The Well Project shares its content with TheBody.com to ensure all people have access to the highest quality treatment information available. The Well Project receives no advertising revenue from TheBody.com or the advertisers on this site. No advertiser on this site has any editorial input into The Well Project's content.


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