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My Soul Is Hurting

By Maria T. Mejia

March 15, 2013

OK, my soul is hurting. I feel so powerless. I have people from all over the world writing me that they have no medicine! That they are discriminated and it is happening here in the United States also!! It is so sad for me to only offer them my prayers and just sit here and feel like I can't do anything for them and help them!!

PEOPLE ARE DYINGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! THEY ARE GETTING SICK!

This is not only happening with HIV, but with many other diseases like cancer, etc. So many funding cuts; people maybe just don't give a damn anymore? They are sick and desperate. I do not want to be a pessimist, because many people look for me to give them hope and uplift them! I can't hide the sun with one finger!! I can't!! I feel desperate for them! This is urgent; as human beings we must do something about this!

Let's fucking fight! Let's get ANGRYYYYY! We have to do something and not let this continue to happen!!

EVERY 9-1/2 MINUTES SOMEONE GETS INFECTED HERE IN THE USA AND 1 OUT OF 5 WHO HAVE HIV DO NOT KNOW IT!!

Almost all new cases are young people!! Like I was! It has been more than 30 years with this bitch of AIDS!!! And people are still not fucking listening. Why?

It will be 24 years in April that I have been living with HIV and I am blessed and have fought to be here. I am losing hope that a cure is coming. To many billions are being made by Big Pharma! We are a fucking business!

I really believe that if I don't get hit by a truck, I will die of this disease or toxicity from my HIV medicine that is poison (but keeps me alive). At least I have something that is buying me time to at least prevent someone from getting infected! This is all I live for and care about! And I hope something happens and something changes!

I don't want to be negative, but it is hard when I get tons of emails and read everywhere the horrible things all of our brothers and sisters are going through. I wish I was a millionaire to help, but I am not.

All I have is my story and my passion. And when my body feels weak, my spirit will pull me through.

I hope that in this 900 girl event that is coming up, where I am going to speak to all of these students, someone listens!!

My God, if I only knew then what I know now!! And we know now!! HIV is preventable!! Use a condom, get tested and love your body! No one is worth your life!

As my dear friend, Mario Pinna Ferri, said in his recent notes, "I have come to a conclusion: HIV is endemic to humankind. For many years I resisted and fought the very notion of HIV as being endemic wanting to believe that HIV could be eradicated from our midst. At this point, with 33 million infected and less than 1/3 receiving treatment, and with less that 1/4 of those receiving treatment achieving viral suppression, I have to surrender and learn of a new way to live."

LOVE AND MUCH NEEDED LIGHT PLEASE.




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