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HIV/AIDS Blog Central

I'm Over This Day Already!

By Rae Lewis-Thornton

November 18, 2012

This piece originally appeared in Rae's blog, Diva Living With AIDS.

cut skin

I'm over this day already and it's not even noon. I just had the most intense moments trying to begin the IV medication. It was an #epicfail that caused pain and tears. I so need to get my life back!

This Mediport has been an ordeal to say the least. First off, I understand now why I have been in so much pain. The scaring under my bandage was intense and when I saw what was there, it made me faint and caused me to throw up. From my neck to my breast I'm red and bruised.

I was excepting one cut not two. Not sure how I missed that they were going to cut me over my breast. But it is what it is ... can't change shit, just got to figure how to live with it.

The nurse accessed the port this morning, but it was the most intense pain that caused me to become nauseous and cry all over again. I took a moment to regain myself and then I connected the IV. In the bottom photo on the right, you can see the line is connected. However, within 30 seconds of the drip going I felt yet again more intense pain and burning. The long and short of it, the line is out. I need to heal some more before using the port.

I'm over this day and so is Sophie. She didn't know what to do for mommie during those intense moments but look on. I'm going to drink some tea, cuddle with Sophie, take some vicodin, sleep on and off and look at Wedgwood Queensware China on EBay and Etsy. Looking makes me happy even when I don't have money to buy. It's like antiquing online.

Sophie looking on and feeling helpless.

Sophie looking on and feeling helpless.

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Rae Lewis-Thornton Speaks

Rae Lewis-Thornton

Rae Lewis-Thornton

Rae Lewis-Thornton is an Emmy Award-winning AIDS activist who rose to national acclaim when she told her story of living with AIDS in a cover story for Essence Magazine. She has lived with HIV for 27 years and AIDS for 19. Rae travels the country speaking and challenging stereotypes and myths about HIV/AIDS. She has a Master of Divinity degree and is currently working on her Ph.D. in Church History. Rae has been featured on Nightline, Dateline NBC, BET and The Oprah Winfrey Show, as well as in countless magazines and newspapers, including Emerge, Glamour, O, the Oprah Winfrey Magazine, Jet, Ebony, the Washington Post and the Chicago Tribune, to name a few. She earned the coveted Emmy Award for a first-person series on living With AIDS for Chicago's CBS News.

Rae is an active user of social media -- read "Long-Term HIV Survivor Discovers the Power of Twitter," an article on about Rae's social media activities.

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