Bringing a Third Person Into the Relationship
By B. Osten
October 25, 2012
For the last four months my partner and myself have been in couples counseling with a therapist. This experience is giving us an insight into why we do what we do to basically piss each other off. Reflecting back to those moments of discord, we realized that most of our disagreements were because of displaced anger. In the name of love, so we thought; we allowed ourselves to become each other's personal punching bag. Figuratively that is.
I have to admit that many times we did spar, but never really got into the ring so to speak. Although, a few times after our therapy sessions we felt emotionally as if we did go a full twelve rounds.
Our therapist is very perceptive and has an uncanny intuition. His approach is radical. His methods are direct and precise with immediate results. Sort of like shock therapy I imagine.
What we are learning is to separate ourselves as individuals. To break old patterns in how we deal with our own hurt, anger and frustration. And resolve conflict the moment it arises.
Our life experiences, trials and tribulations made us who we are today. We're not perfect. We're human. HIV brought us together. Couples counseling is keeping us together.
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I've been living with HIV for 26 years. I volunteer at various AIDS organizations in my community in the day. At night I like to spend my time at the observatory. I couldn't tell you the names of all the planets offhand, or what a black hole is for sure. But, there isn't a day that goes by I haven't looked up at the night sky and thanked my lucky stars I'm still alive to enjoy it.
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March 5, 2013 - Accept and Acclimate: A Blog Entry by B. Osten
October 25, 2012 - Bringing a Third Person Into the Relationship: A Blog Entry by B. Osten
August 3, 2012 - Body Image and the Physical Side Effects of Being HIV+: A Blog Entry by B. Osten
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