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The Root of Discontent or Maybe it's Just the Season Change

By Betsy Yung

October 10, 2012

Wow, it's been a while since I wrote anything for the blog.

I've been busy riding and enjoying my motorcycle. It's been really good for getting me out of the house and doing things again. Have learned with each ride and have explored so many places I have not seen in years.

Have seen my new ID doctor but I'm not expecting to know my numbers until I visit her again on the 25th. I'll be sure to update here when I find out.


I've been dealing with an unexplained bad mood since yesterday. I can't put my finger on exactly why ... maybe a combination of things. The fact that the police killed a man on a bicycle last night when their patrol car collided with the bicycle while they were in pursuit of the bicycle (in other words, the cops ran him down), or maybe it was Obama coming to town just long enough to collect six million dollars for his campaign ... so many things to rub me the wrong way lately. The economy seems to just be absorbing everyone and everything. It seems everyone is so sick to death of being broke and feeling that there is just no clear path to any sort of financial security.

My grown daughter, a single mother, getting no child support, called me last night to say she quit her job. She has been working for a computer consulting firm in Northern California for a few years. She explained that she felt so miserable every day doing a job that she does because it's a paycheck and not what she wants to be doing. I can understand. She feels that she has no quality time to spend with her daughter and that she's not taking proper care of herself because of her unhappy state-of-mind. Again, I can totally relate. She feels alone and has been experiencing anxiety attacks. I wish she was willing to move closer to home where I could help her more. I can't think of moving closer to her while my mom and step-dad are still alive. They need me and I know I won't have them for much longer.

Her frustrations and dissatisfaction with her job has only stirred the ashes of my own discontent with my job and the direction this company has taken over the past two years. We still have not moved into our new facility and even though the move is now imminent, I see that many of the same space problems we have in our current location will continue to be factors in the new building too. And it goes without saying that without some serious changes in the way management views its employees, little will change the general malaise that seems to have saturated the whole company.

Last month, I requested small merit increases for three of my employees who have all spent the past four years being grossly underpaid, and the raise given them was a slap in the face. It amounted to about $10/week. Not even enough to cover the rise in the cost of living over the past four years. Even though the company is again thriving and meeting all financial and sales goals, it continues to underpay and undervalue its most important asset ... its people. Why can't they see that the reason this company weathered the storm and survived the recession is because of the sacrifices made by the people here? When do they get that credit? When will the company embrace them for their investment? So sad.

I'll be at AIDS Walk Los Angeles this weekend to participate. It's my birthday on Sunday and though I did no fundraising this year, I feel that being there as an HIV/AIDS-positive person, is important.

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See Also
More Personal Accounts of Women With HIV/AIDS

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My Evil Hitchhiker

Betsy Yung

Betsy Yung

Just your average, hard-working, middle-aged lady living with AIDS and making the best of it.

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