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Let the Haters Hate!!!

By Teniecka Drake

July 13, 2012

It is one thing to have to wake up every day and deal with being HIV+. It is quite another issue to have to deal with a hater. Let me just say the playing fields are not even. Why in the world am I talking about haters? Is this blog not supposed to be about positivity? This is still true and this blog will be just that positive.

Let me jump into haterville real quick! Many times I come across people who are genuinely happy for me. Really it does not matter for what -- just generally speaking. Recently, I have been wondering about friends and people who I have known for years. It struck me that there are some haters in my midst. I will give you an example so you will see just what I mean.

I had a girlfriend who I had known since grade school. Of course, like any other friendship we had our differences. To give you a tiny bit of back story on my "friend." My "friend" at the time was one of those women who crave male attention. She really always looked for a man to validate her worth.

Anyway back to my story. Last year she contacted me after several months of no communication from her. Of course, apologies were flying for her lack of being a "friend." I asked her one day on the phone why it is she never comes over anymore? She stated that every time she comes over it just reminds her of what she does not have. I am not a wealthy person, but to different people I guess my simple lifestyle appears differently.

I thought to myself, "huh ... what did she mean?" I rent and I am a homemaker, no new fancy cars. Then it hit me she meant me being married and having children. I had a family which for most people friends rejoices in the good (usually). Instead of being happy for me she turned into being envious, jealous and even a little bitter. Basically, she turned into a Hater!

Many people have said you need haters. These are the people that know your life is turning around for the better. How can this be when she has HIV? I really think if you look around very closely you will find one or more. If you have one or more good for you!! You are doing something that causes them to notice you. Let the Haters Keep Hating! Do not be surprised if you dwell on wondering, "what is their problem?" You may be happy the sun is out and they are mad. Smile and say today is going to be a great day! I am going to be okay! Let the Haters hate today! They will not bring me down on this day or any other day!!

~ Ms. T ~

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See Also
Spotlight Series: HIV Stigma & Discrimination
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Enough Negativity!

Teniecka Drake

Teniecka Drake

Since her HIV diagnosis in 2001 -- and her marriage, and the recent births of her three children -- Teniecka really has been taking life for more fun! She's spoken nationally about living with HIV, been in Ebony Magazine, and now she's blogging to encourage other HIV-positive people in times when they might need a boost.

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Interviews With Teniecka:

Teniecka Drake: Balancing HIV Advocacy, a Husband and Three Young Children (March 7, 2011)

First Person: Teniecka Hannah (April 3, 2007)

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