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Tiptoe Through My Treasures

By Betsy Yung

June 8, 2012

So, I think everyone, no matter their age or financial or health status has a little box or knitting case or, as in my case, an actual case (the kind used by make-up artists or home-care workers with the trays that pull up and out to display their contents) that contains various odds and ends that define their lives and time on earth. A bit of a time capsule with a small portal to the past.

My treasure box is littered with things that I now label mentally as "BI," before infection, "BD," before diagnosis and "EE," everything else. Weird, huh? In any case, I've decided to clean out my treasure box and share its contents here in my blog. Not only will it be cathartic for me. It will tell anyone who stumbles in a bit more about who I am and who I have been.

Once opened, the box is next to me on the bed with Charlie, my best little pal nearby. He's looking on with disgust, having just gotten a bath, his mood isn't all it could be today.

Here is the contents of the first upper tray:

Funny how AIDS changes people and the way they relate to you. Either they try too hard to act like it makes no difference or they avoid you altogether. In order to keep people comfortable, I try to just be who I've always been. It's hard because I'm not who I was before. I'm a version of me that has a terminal illness that almost guarantees me a solitary future. I'm the me that hits the pharmacy twice a week for medicine to keep me alive while I hope for a cure.

An old me put all these things in my treasure box.

A new me is taking them out.

More in the next tray, some of it junk. Not really sure why I've kept so much weird stuff. More tomorrow.

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