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There Is No More Rain in My Cloud!

By Rae Lewis-Thornton

May 17, 2012

This piece originally appeared in Rae's blog, Diva Living With AIDS.

Rae Lewis-Thornton

I landed in the freaking ER Last night! My chest has been hurting for the last few days and then my arm started to tingle. I thought that I was having a heart attack or had a blood clot from my picc line. Well it was neither! It was a combination of my current health issue with the herpes and the IV medication and STRESS....

I had a reality check. My ass landed in ER because of STRESS... Now I know that stress is not my friend, especially because I already don't have an immune system. My body reacts to everything! But I cannot let stress take my ass up out of here. God did not bring me this far for me to lose focus. So I'm getting my shit together!!

I'm gonna stop saying I'm O.K and get O.K.!! I am not going to squander another day of God's gift of life to me stuck over something I can't do shit about anyway. As I always say, It is what is. I can't change a damn thing, but what I can change is me. AIDS ain't took my ass out of here, and I declare I ain't letting anything or anybody take me out. Both of my BFF's have said I would have told them by now to get the fuck over it. So I'm taking my own advice. God has too much work for me and I have squandered a week of my life stuck... stuck... stuck...

Father Forgive Me For Losing Focus...

But ummmmmmm... There is No More Rain In My Cloud! Today I'm working, I mean really working. I have a book to publish and I have RLT Collection bracelet orders to get out and dishes to wash. Do you hear me, THERE IS NO MORE RAIN IN MY CLOUD!

Today's Video.. Day 17th! Count Down To 50!

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See Also
Guide to Conquering the Fear, Shame and Anxiety of HIV
Trauma: Frozen Moments, Frozen Lives
More on Coping With Stress and Anxiety

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Rae Lewis-Thornton Speaks

Rae Lewis-Thornton

Rae Lewis-Thornton

Rae Lewis-Thornton is an Emmy Award-winning AIDS activist who rose to national acclaim when she told her story of living with AIDS in a cover story for Essence Magazine. She has lived with HIV for 27 years and AIDS for 19. Rae travels the country speaking and challenging stereotypes and myths about HIV/AIDS. She has a Master of Divinity degree and is currently working on her Ph.D. in Church History. Rae has been featured on Nightline, Dateline NBC, BET and The Oprah Winfrey Show, as well as in countless magazines and newspapers, including Emerge, Glamour, O, the Oprah Winfrey Magazine, Jet, Ebony, the Washington Post and the Chicago Tribune, to name a few. She earned the coveted Emmy Award for a first-person series on living With AIDS for Chicago's CBS News.

Rae is an active user of social media -- read "Long-Term HIV Survivor Discovers the Power of Twitter," an article on about Rae's social media activities.

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