Here it is a new year and I have finally returned from a five-month absence.
My odyssey began on Oct. 21, when I made a rookie mistake while riding my new bike. A car cut me off in traffic and I grabbed the front brake in a panic and went down in traffic badly breaking my left leg.
I have been not-so-skillfully surfing the rough seas of depression these past weeks. The loss of my very best friend (for some reason that remains unexplained) has really put me off my game and cut into my heart. My moods swing between anger/hatred for how he is hurting me and acceptance/grief for the loss I feel. If you have someone ... be sure to remember how lucky you are to have them.
Wow, it's been a while since I wrote anything for the blog.
I've been busy riding and enjoying my motorcycle. It's been really good for getting me out of the house and doing things again. Have learned with each ride and have explored so many places I have not seen in years.
Continuing my inventory of stuff saved from what seems like other lifetimes I've lived ... on some other planet far away from here or perhaps another reality. It's hard to collate life now with anything it was before. I wish I could find a way to explain, but I just can't find enough of the right words to convey what I'm feeling. I'll trust that you'll bear with me through this process ... I'm a beginner at all this.
So, I think everyone, no matter their age or financial or health status has a little box or knitting case or, as in my case, an actual case (the kind used by make-up artists or home-care workers with the trays that pull up and out to display their contents) that contains various odds and ends that define their lives and time on earth. A bit of a time capsule with a small portal to the past.
Like so many others who blog or journal about living with HIV, I think my expectations are to build a network of people who can benefit by my experiences and who can offer me a sounding board for some of the problems I'm dealing with.