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Grass Is Greener

By Brooke Davidoff

March 23, 2012

My Mommy and me.

My Mommy and me.

The grass is greener on my side, finally.

I made a long-awaited return to California for a week's vacation with Myles. We saw my mom, my friends and some family members. It was nice to be there for a good reason. Last time I saw most of those people I was 6 months pregnant at my father's funeral. Here we were almost 2 years later and I was not sad to be in California. My mother has moved to a different city than where my father lived. I didn't have to go to his neighborhood, see the house I partly own and might never be inside again; we didn't drive past places I remember, or had ever been.

Maybe that made it easier.

Myles got to see the beach and walk in sand. He met my dead daddy's dog Cody. It was fabulous, relaxing and in the 60's and 70's. We re-visited warm sunlight for a few days. People in the great Northwest often forget the power of SUN.

While we were out beaching and lounging around the warm southern California sunlight my hubby began working. Having been a stay-home dad full time for the last year and a half he was thrilled when he found a good-paying kitchen job.

Mommy and Myles.

Mommy and Myles.

Myles and I came home to a brand-new schedule.

Myles goes to his grandma's (my mother-in-law's) for 3-4 days a week. Hubby and I work on the same exit of the freeway and we both work at 7am, which on carpool days has us waking up at 4:30. We leave the house by 5 to drop Myles off with grandma in a parking lot in the middle between our houses. I get dropped off at work between 6 & 6:20. I get picked up at 4 and we head back to the same parking lot to get Myles. We're home by 5:30 or 6 depending on weather and traffic.

I went to the doctor! I got my blood work done, after financially avoiding it for 9 months or so. They only needed like 7 vials, but hey who's counting?

I am back on meds. The same meds as before, and my numbers are not as bad as I thought they would be. NOT good but better than I imagined. My viral load is 90,933 and my CD4 count is 184.

I have a new doctor whose office is less than a mile from my office. I can go on a lunch break, or after work, and not waste a tank of gas getting there and back in traffic.

We finally have more money coming in than going out. I had forgotten how nice it is to have enough money. To be able to pick up your meds and NOT cringe. To go grocery shopping.

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See Also
More on the Economics of HIV Care
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Reader Comments:

Comment by: Anonymous Sat., Apr. 21, 2012 at 11:53 pm EDT
Brooke, I'm so glad things are going well for you! I wish you continued happiness and much health!
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Comment by: Anna (USA) Mon., Apr. 2, 2012 at 1:50 pm EDT
This post made me SMILE. I'm so happy to hear that things are looking up!!!!
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Comment by: Daniela (Buenos Aires) Mon., Mar. 26, 2012 at 12:20 pm EDT
Congratulations for your vacations in California and your husband's new job!
Your CD4 are low but with medication they will rise!
Do you know how many years your have been hiv positive?
When I was diagnosed y had a similar number and I was HIV positive for more than 7 years!
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Voice of ONE


Brooke Davidoff

Brooke Davidoff

Brooke was diagnosed HIV positive in January 2010 -- two months married and 11 weeks pregnant with her first baby -- and has already begun to educate others about HIV. She lives in Seattle, and her poetry has been featured on TheBody.com. Her son was born on July 15, 2010.


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