Let me start out by saying you don't have me. You will never have me ever. My life, my love and my laughter you will never have.
You have almost destroyed the lives of the friends and family I have touched. Because of you I have to take medications every day. I hate what you have done to me, but most of all the friends that I have lost. You've hurt me, my friends and my family long enough.
Now I have to live with you?!?! Really?!?! You're like that annoying guest at a gay brunch or a cocktail party that will not go away. One day there will be a cure that EVERYONE can use and you will die a nasty death, you will pay for the death and the destruction that you have caused.
I will never forgive you or myself for letting you into my life. I want children; I can still have them but you have made that difficult. Can you go away?
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Justin B. Terry-Smith, M.P.H., may be one of the most public African Americans living with HIV: He has his own website, and he's even on YouTube. He is a noted HIV and gay civil rights activist and the creator of "Justin's HIV Journal," a popular blog in which he shares his trials and tribulations of living with HIV. A U.S. Air Force veteran, Justin resides in Laurel, Maryland, with his husband, Dr. Philip Terry-Smith, and their son, Lundyn. Presently, Justin is working toward earning his doctorate in public health. He welcomes your questions.
(Photo credit: Don Harris)
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