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"Write a Letter to HIV" Campaign!

Justin B. Terry-Smith

Justin B. Terry-Smith

Hello, I'm Justin B. Terry-Smith. I was infected with HIV in 2005 and diagnosed in 2006. I've decided to write a letter expressing my feelings about HIV and I'm asking YOU to join me.

You can be HIV negative or positive; this letter is meant to encourage and empower. If you're infected or affected by HIV, I'm asking that you write a letter and then videotape yourself reading the letter aloud. It helps sometimes to get your feelings out, whether you've been recently diagnosed or have been living with HIV for a long period of time.

I'm asking everyone -- including my fellow bloggers here at and others that don't have a blog -- to join me in this campaign, "My Letter to HIV." Check out my letter and video for an example. If you don't want to make a video you don't have to; a simple letter will suffice. You can also send a picture of yourself. Entries will be posted in a series on this article page.

Send your letters and video links to


Valynn (Posted July 10, 2012)
I was led to believe that if I had a child surely my child would also have you. I also thought I would die before my child had a chance to grow up. ... However, the truth is I could have had a child. I could have a teenager right now. You stole that from me.

Bryan Collins (Posted July 10, 2012)
It should come as no surprise that I have been talking about you behind your back. It comes easy, because even though you do not know me, I know you very well.
Bryan Collins

Brant Miller (Posted July 10, 2012)
I remember some of the first times I talked about you with my parents when I was no more than 10 years old. They wanted me to learn three things; go to college, don't get a credit card until you're smart enough to have one, and always use a condom. (Granted, at the time, they thought I'd be getting someone pregnant, but now they know better.)
Brant Miller

Matthew Cope (Posted May 17, 2012)
It is a miracle I am still here. But. I AM STILL HERE. You have not won.
Matthew Cope

J. (Posted May 9, 2012)
In 1999 my mother found out you were killing her, and attempting to infect my unborn sister. I was 9 years old at the time. I have lived my whole life in fear of you. The grief was damn near debilitating.

Dave Watt (Posted May 9, 2012)
Where bridges should be open, you build road blocks. Where music should be inspiring, you bring noise. Where love should be free, you bind us with fear. I am just one of many dedicated to fighting this battle you started.
Dave Watt

Mike Hellman (Posted May 9, 2012)
Some days are best forgotten but I'm still here. You ravaged my body, you cleaned me out but I'm still here.
Mike Hellman

Jaco Lourens (Posted May 9, 2012)
I am much stronger than you. I decide my own fate and destiny. So, you need me to survive? Let's make a deal.
Jaco Lourens

Aaron Laxton (Posted May 2, 2012)
Thirty years ago and one day from the first report of the "gay cancer" that would later become defined as AIDS, we met.
Aaron Laxton

Andre Allen (Posted May 2, 2012)
As long as I have breath in my body I will make sure that your demise is near.
Andre Allen

Robert Breining (Posted April 30, 2012)
It wasn't until 2001 when we first stared into each other eyes.
When you were finally acknowledged, It wasn't a lie.
I hated you, I thought I would die
I kept you a secret held deep inside.
It took me over 5 years for me to accept you with pride
Robert Breining

Melissa Baker (Posted April 27, 2012)
I could've stayed silent about you living inside of me after he and I went our separate ways. But instead I began my volunteerism. I felt empowered to dispel stigma, to encourage people to test, respect & educate themselves. ... I have added advocate to who I AM. I have disclosed to many including my daughters.
Melissa Baker

Mkpeintre1 (Posted April 26, 2012)
I am an educated person and therefore supposedly knew better than to associate with you, well that's how I felt. I tried to stay away from you as much as possible throughout my life in and outside the gay community.

Joshua Rosario King (Posted April 26, 2012)
HIV, I not only find joy in knowing you live with me. I am happier because I know I am gonna live a long healthy prosperous life. I exercise, eat right; take better care of me and my body. Why you ask? Because I let you in but could never let you defeat me.

Julia Mascardo (Posted April 24, 2012)
What makes me angry is how so many people who have you in their lives feel afraid (and, sadly, sometimes with reason) of mentioning you to their friends or family -- something that people with other medical or life challenges don't have to deal with in most cases.

Jack Mackenroth (Posted April 18, 2012)
In about '95, I started disclosing my status and that was a journey. And it made me a better person, so thank you, HIV, for that. Yes, there were definitely times when I hated you. If I had a magic wand today, would I get you out of my body? Yes, I would. But I can't do that, so you're just a part of me at this point.
Jack Mackenroth

Terry (Posted April 18, 2012)
Before we met, I was careless, shallow, and thought I had this whole world figured out. I admit, you were winning for a time, had me going crazy, losing my damn mind! Now, I have the victory! I'm still fulfilling my obligation to my country here in the states, I'm more physically fit and mentally healthy than I have been my whole life, I am compassionate and informed and I have my joy back.

Ken Warnock (Posted April 11, 2012)
One day, and I plan on living to see the day, you will be banished. Your crimes are well-documented and your punishment will be painful for you. One day, you will no longer be permitted to touch another person. You will not be able to seek refuge in the hapless body to wreak your havoc.
Ken Warnock

Veritee Reed Hall (Posted April 10, 2012)
As long as I live you live too. When I die you die too. And while I intend to live my life to the full and as long as possible ... On my death believe me I will be, while dying, celebrating the death of you the virus that has made me its home.
Veritee Reed Hall

Christopher Myron (Posted April 7, 2012)
I wanted to thank you for giving my life back. Forcing me to have quarterly check-ups to make sure I'm satisfying my compromised system gives me the privilege to talk specifically about things like my kidney functions. Because of which I will probably outlive the life I would've continued had we never met.
Christopher Myron

Mathew Fox (Posted April 7, 2012)
Even as much as I want to know why, I thank you. I never knew the man that my mother raised could be such a strong individual. I used to sit around and question god, of why me, but I got a better one, why not me. HIV you have showed me what truly matters in life, and just how precious life is.

Dona L. Lackey (Posted April 7, 2012)
You, HIV are my change. You are my fear. You are my Crocodile and I will ride the hell out of you and surrender to my change of life. I am always broken. Always. With my broken-ness, I will inspire and radiate light and life and continue to flow with the changes. You, despite your best effort, will not control me. I will control you.
Dona L. Lackey

Christopher J. Morris (Posted April 7, 2012)
You caught me off guard only because I thought I was doing everything right. I used condoms. I didn't hoe around. I even could still count on one hand how many people I had slept with. Never thought that rap would be why I would soon meet you or be able to say that I'm over you.
Christopher J. Morris

Mackenzie S. (Posted April 7, 2012)
So we meet again. I don't know if you remember me; I'm one of those people trying to fight you. I'm the one who tells your secrets, busts your myths, and stops you from spreading. I'm the one who tests at-risk youth in order to catch you early.
Mackenzie S.

Bonetta Spratley (Posted April 5, 2012)
Who would have thought that after 23 years I would even have words for you and would actually be able to effectively write out my feelings and be able to relay them to you openly! I'm sure you didn't; HA!
Bonetta Spratley

Elaine Henderson (Posted April 5, 2012)
I will continue to educate and advocate, I will march and I will pray until you are just a lesson in the history books. It won't be long now and I see you shivering with fear as your demise is in sight, you and all of your little opportunistic friends.
Elaine Henderson

Patrick Ingram (Posted April 4, 2012)
I hate that you can be within people whom we trust in marriages or relationships yet are unaware of their infidelities and actions. I hate that you lie within people who are not responsible enough to take care of themselves and protect others.
Patrick Ingram

Bobby William (Posted April 4, 2012)
I can clearly remember the first time ever truly hearing about you. It was a high school health class and all of us were instructed to do some research on a common STD. I chose you because I wanted to get to know you and to see what kind of damage that you did to people.
Bobby William

Betsy Yung (Posted April 3, 2012)
You are the definition of evil. I will always call you a fucker. I will never find anything to thank you for and I pray that medicine finds a way to eradicate you once and for all.
Betsy Yung

M.A. Singletary (Posted April 2, 2012)
It's kinda hard to write this kind of letter to you, HIV; because until we get our act together, you won't get your act together. ... Asking you to stop would be like asking God to stop rain from happening.
M.A. Singletary

Patrick T. Perkins (Posted April 2, 2012)
I was only eighteen when you crept into the tiny cracks in my doorway to my temple. You weren't welcomed here, but rather brought upon me, from dumb, naive mistakes made in my past.
Patrick T. Perkins

nookie31976 (Posted April 2, 2012)
I used to be this pretentious bastard, pretty much. Living in Washington, D.C. , I needed to be at the top of the social chain and look down upon people that I thought were beneath me. But after I met you, HIV, in November of 2004, you changed me.

Maria T. Mejia (Posted March 29, 2012)
You thought, Oh she has always been told she's a nothing and will never amount to nothing ... so she might just take her own life, destroy it with drugs or destroy others by giving it on purpose out of hate and bitterness. But no!!!!! You never won, never will win!
Maria T. Mejia

Mark Milano (Posted March 25, 2012)
But, listen -- killing your host isn't too smart, is it? That's why I offered you a deal many years ago: you can live in my body (like many other viruses and bacteria) and have some of my CD4 cells. But leave some for me!
Mark Milano

Philip B. Terry-Smith (Posted March 12, 2012)
Just as I was coming into my own, accepting my sexuality and firming up my identity, here you come. I was just barely out of high school and basic training, setting out on my own enjoying new found "adult" freedom when you started rearing your ugly head.
Philip B. Terry-Smith

Khafre Abif (Posted March 22, 2012)
You knew that I didn't believe that I was at risk because the men that I had sex with also had girlfriends. I think you knew that I was a perfect target because of the combination of denial, shame and internalized homophobia that was at work in my spirit and mind.

Ruben Bermudez (Posted March 21, 2012)
Remember those three good friends of mine that I introduce you to every night about 9 o'clock? Prezista, Norvir, and Truvada. Yea I bet you remember them. Don't worry, you are gonna run into them every night until it kills you!
Ruben Bermudez

Zandi Mdlalose (Posted March 19, 2012)
NEWSFLASH!!! YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL of any aspect of my life. I may drag you to the grocery shop, to the doctor, to a picnic with my partner, but that's only to show you that I AM MOVING FORWARD.

Andrew Stewart (Posted March 16, 2012)
I will also never understand how you were able to convince the Pope and African bishops that you cannot be prevented with contraception. I will never understand how you convinced Ronald Reagan to cut funding to the CDC when you first appeared in New York and San Francisco.
Andrew Stewart

Reginald T. Jackson (Posted March 15, 2012)
I turned and tossed 'til it seemed you had gone
but here you are with the dawn
wish I'd forget you, but you're here to stay
it seems I met you when my love went away
now every day I start by saying to you
good morning HIV, what's new?
Reginald T. Jackson

Ken Medlin (Posted March 15, 2012)
I hope that the next generation that we empower will be Negative and you will be gone from our lips and heart forever. Thank you HIV for making me stronger to get rid of you for the Next Generation.
Ken Medlin

Lee Raines (Posted March 15, 2012)
You're nearly 23 years old. It's time for you to move out of the house.
Lee Raines

Mikhl (Posted March 15, 2012)
I have resented you, wished you dead, denied you existed and sobbed uncontrollably over you. ... But none of that has helped me to come to terms with you. It was part of the process I had to go through and continue to go through.

Anonymous (Posted March 12, 2012)
I grew up in those days where a little was known about you, only fear and stigma was the general feeling ... Ad campaigns and media were all focused on you, how brutally you ruined a lot of life, as you are still doing it unfortunately ...

happy85love (Posted March 11, 2012)
First off, it took my mom's health away and then it made a home inside me ... Around the time I was born, two years later it took my mother away ... Less than 10 years later it took my sister away ... And then it started bringing me down ...

Lawrence Price (Posted March 10, 2012)
Saying that I want you gone is an understatement! You seriously need to go back to the Pit of Hell from which you came, because you are seriously nothing more than an attack from the devil himself.

Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All rights reserved.

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Reader Comments:

Comment by: Ausi Ennica (phomolong tembisa) Wed., Feb. 24, 2016 at 7:30 am UTC
HIVAIDs its a low risk disease only if you take your medication in a proper manner .There is no cure for HIV at the moment but there is still hope that they might find the cure before its too late❤
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Comment by: Maria (Cleveland) Thu., Dec. 18, 2014 at 7:53 am UTC
You will never win. All of our loved ones that have been infected by you and suffered and cried deserve better than you. We are all human beings with feelings and desires. No person, no group, no gender is to blame for you. You alone are responsible for what so many people are suffering right now. I wish you would go away on your own. But don't sit there so smugly. We have found cures for other nasty diseases. We will find a cure to eradicate you from the face of the Earth. We will hold strong. We will work hard. We will win!
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Comment by: Randolph B (Houston, TX) Thu., Dec. 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm UTC
I remember when i first heard about you, i said i wanted nothing to do with you. Now that you are apart of my life I thank you for waking me up but warn you that I am stronger than ever. I have accepted and forgiven you but will never forget who you are and what you can do.
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Comment by: George B (Georgia) Fri., Dec. 21, 2012 at 11:17 pm UTC
You came to live with me in 1996, it is now 2012. You thought I would crash land when I met you, I fooled you. You even had my Doctor ready to catch me as I was to fall. I laughed at you and walked out of his office with a smile. No one could understand my feelings. I give you this you are strong. You fight hard, but I ignore you. I fight you off ever day. I have to keep you in your place for my sanity. You have keep your word to me. You told me you would never leave me. unlike Friends and the lovers of my life. Your always here through good and bad. I thank you for your honesty and loyalty. Just know this I will not give up on you either, I will fight you as long as you are determined to fight me. I will remember you ever day but never will I embrace you as my own.
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Comment by: Bernd B. (Berlin) Tue., Jul. 10, 2012 at 6:26 pm UTC
28 Years, and i'm still alive
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Comment by: SUE (TN) Thu., Jun. 28, 2012 at 6:31 pm UTC
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Comment by: Arromme (Nigeria) Fri., May. 11, 2012 at 3:59 pm UTC
hello, HIV, am presently working without resting,and I can assure you that by the grace of God, am bringing you down sooner than later
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Comment by: Brian B. (West Hollywood, CA) Sat., May. 5, 2012 at 9:49 am UTC
It was 1980 and I was in my 1st year of college; i had been a whore with so many young girls; started screwing in the 7th grade; BUT, now I knew who I was/am. I am a gay man and i want to live my hidden dreams with another guy...Now! I remember walking down the long corridor of university hall, swearing at God, "But this is my time lord, please don't make me go back in that closet"? I didn't, I remained free of AIDS for 18 years; i volunteered, worked in reseach, and tested regularly. I had my dream partner; but, he broke up with me. I was so devasted, i needed an answer; HE TOLD ME HE WANTED TO F##k OTHER MEN... we didn't use condoms, were supposedly manogamous (I was) I sero-converted; i was the "one" that said HIV will not enter my vessel...In reality, after that break up i just became a slut, and used protection "by the feelings in my heart". I've been blessed, and that is so damned hard to say. I'm in daily pain with scoliosis/arthritus/reiters, ect. Meds keep the "bug" at bay...I am crippled and once was kind of nice to look at. I have more then that, but it's so damned hard...literally, it's one day, hour, moment at a time. I hope this help someone, as all of you other story writer have helped me...thank you soooo much.
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Comment by: Jason Wilder Evans (Virginia) Thu., Apr. 19, 2012 at 9:59 am UTC
Here's Justin's original letter from the HIV: USA project which inspired him to begin this letter campaign.
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Comment by: Tona B. (Springfield, VA) Wed., Mar. 28, 2012 at 6:57 am UTC
Dear HIV,

I first learned about you in high school and then later in college but only from reading books and hearing of you from far away. I never thought you would really be a part of my life. Although I am not infected by you I met so many that are. You have taken the lives of some of the most talented, creative and beautiful men and women on this earth. The stigma and hatred that people who are infected by you receive is unbelievable. I'm thankful everyday for the education out there to protect those that aren't infected and the programs that get funding to prevent you from preventing more people. I have witnessed one of my dear friends give up on life and die with you inside him in a matter of one year. I have seen beautiful ladies be full figured and lose weight fall ill and pass away because of you.

Yet, I will do everything I can to keep those around me aware of you! I will continue to do my part to help those that are currently infected with your disease to know that someone cares and loves them and will never give up on them!

One day HIV there will be a cure for you! One day those who contract HIV will be able to take you out of their bodies! I pray it happens sooner rather then later. My love goes out to anyone infected by HIV. Know that life is not over. DON'T GIVE UP! For those that do not currently have the disease continue to practice safe sex, keep your number of partners down and be there for those that are infected.


Tona B.
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Thu., Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm UTC
Please continue to help us fight the good fight this is a good letter and should be on the site Send your letter and video links to So that we can publish it onto the site pleeeaseee :-)

Comment by: J price (west palm beach, fl) Tue., Mar. 27, 2012 at 3:22 pm UTC
Dear HIV,
It's been 12 years since you have robbed be of one if the most important women of my life. Although we didn't share DNA she was the best mother I could have ever had. She bought my first birthday cake at 10. She saved my from the family molester and kept me when my mother didn't want to be bothered. She was the only person in my life at the time who taught me that I was somebody. I was her daughter and she was my mom, my friend my heart. You snuck in with her cheating husband invaded her body and didn't leave until you consumed her with shame guilt despair and sorrow. You robbed us all of an angel and I will never forgive you. Because of you Im left missing her shedding tears with the thought of her. Because of you I never got to show her how much all of her love and prayer paid off. Strange enough I thank u for making me aware of what u can do. Through her you've educated me. HIV through her you ve shown me that you don't discriminate. Because of you I am able to see past a persons status and see the person behind that positive sign. As a nurse I don't approach with fear. Everytime I see that sign I see her. Because of you I make sure that I provide to others all the love and support she gave me. She was my angel on earth you took her life but you'll never take my thoughts my memories and her love. Because of you I have an angel on high that watches over me wherever I go so thanks but I still resent you. RIP LESLIE. You are gone but never forgotten. Love you always hope I've made you proud.
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Thu., Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:28 pm UTC
J. This letter made me cry. It was soo touching and I could feel the pain in it. I can felt it from your words that Leslie meant a lot to you thank you so much for sharing your feelings. I would like more people to see this letter. Send your letter and video links to So that we can publish it onto the site

Comment by: carol montalto (westbrook, ct) Sun., Mar. 25, 2012 at 5:24 pm UTC
Reading letters written by hiv positive people has helped me understand how a loved one of mine feels and why he took so long to tell me well several months suffering on his own. I love him and will always support him and am so happy that he loves himself enough to take his meds to fight his illness and love those enough to want to live..for without him in my life i would have a hole in my heart. Love yourself do not blame yourself take your meds and fight to live your life healthy happy and with your family and friends one day there will be a cure until then take your meds and take the best care of your body and emotional self..we love youfor who you are be happy and enjoy life each day.
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Thu., Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:26 pm UTC
Everyone is different but HIV is a big monster to face. It is really important that people who are HIV positive know that there are people like you who support them. I too believe that one day there will be a cure but until then love life and live it :-)

Comment by: Lola (South Africa) Fri., Mar. 23, 2012 at 7:14 am UTC
Dear HIV
Even though you have not invited yourself into my life, i despise the way you have cause pain, heartache, sadness and tears in the lives of those i love and care about. I hate the fact that there is a rift between my friend and i because she is battling with this disease and does not want to burden me with her pain and depression, how she thinks i'm going to shut her out of my life as many have done. I hate the fact that people whose lives you've invaded still live in fear because of the stigma associated with you. I hate the discrimination, the loneliness.
HIV, I hate how you tear families and friends apart. I hate how you make people live in fear of you and each other... I just wish you could disappear.
If you plan on staying a while longer though, i wish all those infected and affected can start seeing you for who you really are, an non-respecting, weak, lonely, dirty little SOB, that needs to be stored in a dark corner and rendered powerless forever...
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Thu., Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:22 pm UTC
We would love to have representation from S. Africa. Send your letter and video links to So that we can publish it onto the site and not the comments section

Comment by: JustMe (Oklahoma City, Oklahoma) Sun., Mar. 18, 2012 at 6:24 am UTC
Dear HIV,
You caught me by suprise,
you caught me at a bad time
I would tell you to come back later,
but the truth is I dont want you here at all...
I guess they say the truth hurts, and you my friend are truth
you are the real deal, for real.
I was born WITHOUT you and maybe i'll die WITHOUT you...
You have come like a theif in a night,
but around here we fight...we fight to survive
we fight to stay alive.
I dont know why you are here...but you are.
You challenge me, you inspire me, you hurt me
you hurt my hurt my friends...
you hurt innocent and harmless children.
I have a life and you cant have it.
I have a heart and you cant have it.
I cant let you get the best of me.
I am me...I am free...I am MORE than HIV.
To every yoing reader, get your status. Get testing. Knowing may be scary, but not knowing and being a risk is even more scary. Be proactiv! If you test positive...start your meds, take vitamins, eat healthy, exercise and be happy! This is not a death sentence. Life isnt promised to anyone. Again, GET TESTED! because KNOWING your status is beautiful!!!
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Thu., Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:21 pm UTC
Hey this is a beautiful poem. Can you send it to, so we can put it on the site and not in the comments section?

Comment by: Ken M. (Indianpolis, IN) Sat., Mar. 17, 2012 at 4:40 pm UTC
Thank You Justin, Olivia and for giving all of us the opportunity to share our lives and "Letters to HIV!" God Bless Everyone! Who contributed to this project and in future projects to help bring Awarness and Hope for people living with HIV/AIDS.
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD ) Thu., Apr. 5, 2012 at 12:20 pm UTC
Hey Ken Not a problem I thought of this idea because I figured there are people out there that haven't even addressed their HIV yet and when you do it makes it just a little easier What do you think?

Comment by: Sarah (Elizabeth, NJ) Fri., Mar. 9, 2012 at 7:48 pm UTC
hi Justin your an insprination I Love that you teach the world about Living with HIV+, I never did any video"s until I surfed the web and yours was the first video I seen and I said to my self if Justin can do I can too, so yeah I love that you do this o yeah and I also seen your pitcure on the Poz magazine
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Sat., Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:43 pm UTC
Sarah HEY HON thank you so much. You're a very special young lady thank you so much Remember to send the letter in word format and the embedded video link to the e-mail above :-)

Comment by: anon (denver, co) Thu., Mar. 8, 2012 at 6:51 pm UTC
Woot love the idea Justin! I want to submit a letter but not able to do a video of myself reading it.. would there still be any use in the campaign for letters w/o video?
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Comment by: Anon Sat., Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:40 pm UTC
Send a pic of a symbol that represents you :-) We don't need a video BUT we need a letter ;-) I'm so glad you want to be apart of this :-)
Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Sat., Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:41 pm UTC
We don't have to have a video BUT can you send a picture that best represents you? that would be great!!!

Comment by: Jason Wilder Evans (Virginia) Wed., Mar. 7, 2012 at 1:26 pm UTC
I'm glad you've been inspired by the HIV: USA project!
Keep up the good work!
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Comment by: Justin B Terry-Smith (Laurel, MD) Sat., Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:41 pm UTC

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