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Where It Came From

February 2, 2012

Brooke Davidoff

Brooke Davidoff

I know now where I got it, THIS. I no longer need a man-map trying to retrace my who's and where's of the years past. One email answered it all today.

I sent an email to one of my ex-boyfriends' exes via Facebook a few weeks ago. I've known they were not together for a few months now. I noticed she was single again, and I sent her an email. We're not friends, but we KNOW each other. We have for years. I just dropped her a line saying I had no idea what happened with THEM, but I hoped she had a good new year and found a guy who treated her better than our ex.

She wrote me back.

You don't know what happened? The same thing you have ... he gave to me. I hope you are healthy and your baby is too.

I spent 3 years with him, and he cheated on me with this hot blond who used to be an acquaintance of mine. He eventually left me for her, and they ended up getting married.

He's cheated on everyone he dated, since high school. I thought I could change him. He replaces you while you're together, then says you deserve better than him. He leaves you with most of his stuff because he feels guilty.

I got married also. If I had not gotten pregnant none of us would know we have it.


He gave me an STD one year for Valentine's Day. My doctor at the time told me I was being cheated on. I did not believe him. I was told my STD was new, and for me to be with the same guy 2+ years at that time he had to be sleeping with someone else.

I stayed. I should have left then. But we lived together, where was I going to go? I loved him.

So all three of us have it. And I feel bad for her. I feel nothing for him, but I want to cry for her. She is beautiful, and HIV+ because of our stupid-ass meth addict, alcoholic ex.

How many women has he passed it on to? When did he get it? Who gave it to him? I'm still in shock they have it. Now I feel dirty again. Living in a bubble, thinking it's not really real if I can't find anyone I've been with who has it. Maybe I was misdiagnosed since I'm still NOT sick and have not been on meds for almost a year. But now I know it's real again. I have it. He gave it to US.

Denial might be the first step, but it's never GONE.

Send Brooke an e-mail.

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This article was provided by TheBody.
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Reader Comments:

Comment by: Savannah (USA) Mon., Feb. 27, 2012 at 3:55 pm UTC
Brooke, why are you not on medication??? You were at one time, and even said that a pharmacy named Mom's was getting you what you needed at low cost. I am concerned to hear that you are not taking anything...

Your story is so tragic, but I believe a common one, when young we fall in love, give all our heart and trust, and it is DANGEROUS.

Please respond, I look forward to your blogs, and worry about you. I would like to know that you are doing ok.

Sincerely, Savannah
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Comment by: Andrew (Wailuku, Hawaii) Sat., Feb. 18, 2012 at 2:26 am UTC
Wow. Thank you for sharing...
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Comment by: Nick (Padua - Italy) Thu., Feb. 9, 2012 at 2:38 pm UTC
Dear Brooke,
I feel for you. My ex-boyfrien gave it to me and he is still fooling around everywhere with whomever without protection, constantly denying hi has got IT!
All I can say to you (and to myself): think of yourself as a better human being than he is. Whomever is acting like then is worth no sh.t!
Take care of yourself.
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Comment by: Anonymous Thu., Feb. 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm UTC
I am very sorry. It sounds like this guy is out there giving it to people. Make sure the health department has his name so they can see if they can contact at least some of his other partners.
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Comment by: Diana (Texas) Thu., Feb. 2, 2012 at 3:34 pm UTC
Is your former boyfriend a meth addict?
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Replies to this comment:
Comment by: brooke davidoff (Seattle, WA) Fri., Feb. 3, 2012 at 6:21 pm UTC
Yes, why?

Comment by: Daniela (Buenos AIres) Thu., Feb. 2, 2012 at 9:57 am UTC
I am living the same story as you. I am recently married, and recently diagnosed after my marriage. I went to my doctor for a check before getting pregnant and the result of the Elisa was positive.
I am sure that I am positive for most than 7 years, and as I read in another post you've done, I can't believe how in all these years nobody, no doctor had recommended me to test for hiv. This test should be done each year when we go to our annual ginecological examination.
My husband is negative, and I am so happy for him, I love him. An ex boyfriend gave this to me. I am so sad, because I am sure he had known his condition when he was with me. I wonder how many women are living with hiv because of his behaviour and his lack of respect for the other human beings.
Reading you gives me hope, because we want to have a baby.
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See Also
Newly Diagnosed? Words of Encouragement from HIV-Positive Women
What Did You Expect While You Were Expecting?
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