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In This Corner, the Scale

By Rev. Andrena Ingram

January 23, 2012

In This Corner, the Scale

Well, there you see it ... the scale!

Most women have some ongoing love/hate relationship with their scales. Add HIV or AIDS to the equation, and you get a whole 'nutha dynamic.

I have been talking and writing off an on about my struggle with my weight. And I must say again, that it is not really MY struggle, but other people's struggle with where THEY think I should be as far as weight goes.

I have ALWAYS been small. There was one regimen of HIV meds that put a lot of weight on me, and it was before I was diagnosed with diabetes that my weight blossomed to over 150. Ugh! Talk about a butterball (for me).

Here is my wedding picture, back in 1991. I was 125 tops. Wish I had more pics to post.

Well, this is all I have at the moment.

Well, this is all I have at the moment.

Since I have been here in Philly, I have gone between 125 and 140. The funny thing is that at 140, I feel horrible, but everyone thinks I look "healthy." Do you have any idea how much of that 140 is actually FAT and not good muscle? When I get my weight down to where I feel good, filled with energy, it is around 120-125. No fat ... muscle. And everyone begins commenting: "you've lost weight," "are you feeling okay?" YES! I am feeling FINE!

In September, when I went to the doctor, I was at 121. A little worrisome, but not the end of the world ... considering it is my ideal weight for my height and age. But, I wanted to put a few more pounds on so folks would stop looking at me as if I were on my last leg. Recently, I have been feeling miserably heavy again. I even remarked this morning: "my skinny jeans don't fit anymore!" Knew I was going to have a battle with the scale again.

Sure enough, I get in the doctors office ... on the scale, and I didn't even want to look at it! It was 131. Not a lot ... but too much for me. I can't run up my stairs without getting winded ... and my clothes do not fit.

My doctor went into her charts ... I am 5'4", and the lowest weight that would be ideal for me is 121. So, to be on the safe side, we are shooting for about 125-6.

So, when you see that I have lost weight. It is because I am getting to a "healthy" weight for ME.

I wrote about this before on a deeper level.

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See Also
More News and Research on Weight Gain and Body Mass Index (BMI)

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Is the Ribbon Enough?

Rev. Andrena Ingram

Rev. Andrena Ingram

Reverend Andrena Ingram (also known as "Pastor Andrena" or "Pastor Ingram") has become a strong advocate for those living in the margins, as she once was. She is an activist in the HIV/AIDS arena, herself living openly and unabashedly with the HIV virus for over 22+ years.

Raised in South Jamaica, New York, Reverend Ingram served seven years of active duty in the U.S. Army. She would later move to the South Bronx, where she attended Transfiguration Lutheran Church with Pastor Heidi Neumark as her pastor and mentor -- empowering her to rise up out of herself and her life challenges, which seemed to her, at the time, insurmountable.

Reverend Ingram is a graduate of the Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia, with a Master of Divinity. She has been the pastor of St. Michael's Lutheran Church on Germantown Avenue, Philadelphia, Pa., for the past four years.

Reverend Ingram can frequently be found speaking about HIV/AIDS, encouraging everyone "to know your status, get tested, and be informed." Silence = Death.

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