One night of pleasure led to years of pain to follow. One night of hot sex in that Motel 6 in Maryland. That one time that I took those shots, and let my clothes fly all over. That one night I put on a show! Two other people sat in the double-bed room of that motel, watching my boyfriend and I give them their life.
So I'm doing my usual Facebook searching, and came across a very interesting video of a former porn model who, at 24 years old, was diagnosed with AIDS. Justin Washington, more publicly known as Snow Bunni, recorded a video for The Luckey Star Blog of himself in a hospital bed discussing his recent diagnosis, briefly explaining who he was, and very briefly touching on how the party lifestyle took him over.
Since my diagnosis in 2009 I've encountered many other people whose lives have changed post diagnosis. Many of them were not changes for the good. Many had lost hope, given up on dreams, and just no longer had a drive to do the things that made them happy once before. I would like for every one of those people to know that YOUR STATUS DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY.
It has been over a year since I have written a blog. Why should I? What allows me to sit here and continue writing about life with HIV when I face so many struggles every day? No one wants to hear about my crap, right? Everyone wants to hear me tell my peers to take their meds and be safe right? How can I tell anyone to take meds and to take care of themselves when I have been struggling with it myself? Who am I to tell someone to be med compliant when I have built a resistance against Atripla because of my own foolishness?
I have been asked many times about my having engaged in unprotected sex in order to conceive a child. While this may be frowned upon because of my HIV-positive status, having unprotected sex is still a reality for many HIV-positive and HIV-negative people. But I do not intend on trying to infect anyone with the virus, because I am not a "gift giver." A gift giver is an HIV-positive person who seeks out to infect others with HIV.
During my training to become certified to administer the Rapid HIV Test here in Michigan I was given a homework assignment. The assignment was to go condom shopping. Not to actually buy the condoms, but to become familiar with different stores and the locations that they kept their condoms and the different types that were available.
Let me first start by saying that if used properly, condoms are a very effective way to prevent pregnancy, and the spread of STDs and HIV. Although I discuss engaging in raw sex, I am not against the use of condoms; neither am I advocating for their use. My stance is to educate yourself, know all the risk, open discussion with your partner, then make your educated decision. I was successful in conceiving a child while HIV positive without transmitting the virus. This may not be the case for everyone. My suggestion is to speak with your doctor (along with your partner) and discuss the facts with him/her.
My name is Jermaine Wright and I am a bisexual, HIV-positive, single father of five. If that's not a jaw dropper for ya, I had one of my children while being HIV positive. Here is how it started ...
November 2, 2009 I went to the clinic in Baltimore, MD, and got an HIV test, which came back positive. After speaking with the case worker I left with two of my friends, and the whole time all I could think about was my boyfriend. I had gotten into a relationship with him August 16th of that same year and we had probably only used a condom on one occasion. From listening to the rumors that had caused me to get tested in the first place, I had narrowed down the timeframe that I could have contracted it. So the thoughts of passing the virus to someone else echoed in my head the whole ride home.
In June 2009 I got into a relationship with a guy that I met at the club. There was a crowd of people around him and I thought he was cute, so in my head I was thinking "I'm going to get him." A friend of mine told me that he was a porn star but I didn't believe him, so I would joke with the guy I was talking to at the time, telling him that maybe we could make a video together.