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HIV Health and Treatment Issues >> Treatment & Side Effects

New User

Reged: 07/27/05
Posts: 1
My doctor is refusing to treat my HIV until I sign
      07/27/05 11:11 PM

Hello world,
As a newly diagnosed HIV gay man, living in Edmonton Alberta, ( diagnosed 1 year now) I am facing what I beleive to be discrimination and bullying by my doctor. My counts when first diagnosed were CD4 500 and viral load 16,000. Over the past year and 4 test later, my counts are CD4 340 and viral load over 100,000. My counts have been in continual decline and the trend is obvious. To me it feels like the virus is taking over. Physically, I feel tired, low energy, loss of apetite, sometimes diarrhea. I get these unusual pains like knife jabbing jolts of electicity all over my body. Sometimes, these jabbing jolts, catch me off guard and I let out a yelp for use of a better word. When I first met my doctor who is the expert in this city he told me what the guidelines were for when to start medications. Back in Sept of 04 he said I need to have a viral load over 100,000 and a CD4 of below 350. Well, back in May of 05, I reached those levels, my CD4 was 340 and my viral load over 100,000. I asked my doctor if I could go on meds. He flatly refused me and said he would like to see my numbers go lower, ie, CD4 lower and viral load higher. To me.... a former phys ed major, who values his health, the idea of losing more of my CD4 cells was to hard to understand. I said to myself,, why does my Doctor want my body important immune system to get sicker before he treats me.. It doesnt make any sense to me.. Of course the following weeks were very stressful for me, as I was trying to get treatment from him and he was denying my treatment.. His response and I quote......I think your depressed and studies have shown that when a person is depressed it is more likely that you will not be consistent with taking your medications.. He also compared me to an drug injection user, and a homeless person.. This was so far from the truth I lost it...My partner and I scheduled another appt with him, and to both my partner and myself he flatly rejected my request, saying that he was concerned that I might run out of treatment options if I started Haart so early.. My physcologist even supported my decision to take the meds. But my doctor would not budge.. I am well aware that I may run out of options in the treatment process, but isnt it my decision.
I should also say to all that are reading this, that I had one partner die of Aids In 1990. I nursed him to his death, and I watched and sat back while the doctors who were treating him threw all kind of drugs specifically AZT until he died. I didnt like the way they treated him then,, and I dont like the way Im being treated now.. I feel like this doctor is playing with my life. He is insisting that I should wait before I start treatment.
I should also say that my partner is also positive, and we know that my partner gave the virus to me.. My partner was diagnosed several weeks before me and at that time his CD4 was 180 and his viral load was 65,000. His doctors started him on Sustiva and Combivir soon after and 3 months later his viral load is undectable and his CD4 is now 380. He is doing fine on his drug regimen, and he has told me that he doesnt have any side effects. All the time Im thinking my partner infected me, and I love him very dearly, but now I cant get my doctor to start my treatment, this doesnt make any sense.
You see, we as a couple have chosen not to practice safe sex.. Why, because as a top in our relationship, I cant feel a dam thing when I where a condom. I look at sex as the one thing that I really enjoy in life, and without it I may as well be dead. But the thing that really bugs me is that the doctors here will not treat us as a couple. So we came up with our own theory.
My way of thinking and my partner supports this rational is that.....His viral load is undectable, his CD4 is going up, he is relatively healthy, he is on meds and doing fine. He has a mutated virus now, because he is taking meds. I on the other hand have a wild strain of the virus, and am not being allowed to take meds. I have asked our doctors on numerous occassions, if by not practicing safe sex, are we jeopardizing are health.. The answers are we dont know.. There has not been any studies on this subject..
So, in theory, If my partner has an undectable virus count, and he is on meds, and I have a wild virus, what are the chances that I would get one of his mutated viruses, and if I did, what would the consequences be to me. No one can tell us what the outcome would be..
So, getting back to my doctor not treating me,, I called HIV EDMONTON, and asked for help.. I was told that my doctor has black balled me and and that no other infectious disease doctors in EDMONTON will even talk to me. Apparently my doctor sent a letter to the other docs in this city, telling of my apparent hostile attitude, and that I have an anger management problem. So one doctor has this power to control my life.. I called the University of Alberta director of infectious disease clinic several times, asking to speak to the director, his repsonse was none. He refused to talk or even see me.. I was tossed around to another specialists and her response was you have good care with the doctor you are seeing and she would not accept the referral.. Of course by this time,, my stress levels were going up daily. I felt I didnt have any control of my own destiny.. I felt this doctor was playing god with my life..
More recently, the director of infectious diseases, has sent my family physician a letter outlining terms like a contract, in which, if I dont sign and fulfill these terms and obligations, the director refuses to see me. One of these terms is that I see a psychiatrist. Another of his terms is that if he does see me and we need to start treatment.. he will not necessarily agree to give me the medications that I want.. So, even though I have never met this doctor he has formed an opinion of me from the previous doctor I was seeing, the one who black balled me.. I flatly refuse to sign any contract,, as my MP for my constitiuency said, he has never seen anything like this in his life.. Mean while, I feel my health is in jeopardy. I dont want to be a Martyr, but if this is what the health care system has come to, I guess I will go down in history as dying for what I believe an important issue for all Canadians. Having the right to decide what treatment options I want to pursue.. That right has been taken away from me and the clock keeps ticking all the while my health is in steady decline, these 2 doctors obviously dont think that its of grave concern., I keep thinking why are they doing this. I will never submit myself to this kind of treatment and I ask whoever reads this posting,, would you. I hope that I get some advice from all who read this, and I look forward to hearing from you all,
thanks in advance,, and please, be critical of me.. Maybe I wrong,, but I just dont like how Im being treated.

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* My doctor is refusing to treat my HIV until I sign Garth 07/27/05 11:11 PM
. * Re: My doctor is refusing to treat my HIV until I sign Anonymous   08/17/05 02:25 AM
. * Re: My doctor is refusing to treat my HIV until I sign Monchhichi   07/28/05 03:30 AM
. * Re: My doctor is refusing to treat my HIV until I sign debtex   08/05/05 08:41 PM

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