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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

Ninjawife
Newbie

Reged: 07/29/13
Posts: 19
My fairy tale is a nightmare!
      07/29/13 10:57 PM

On June 24th my doctor called and told me to take my husband to the hospital immediately, his platelet count was non-existent and he was in danger of bleeding to death. They didn't know what was causing it or why he was dying before my eyes. Two days later they said it "could" be HIV. A week later they confirmed it. In all this time I watched my once powerful husband get weaker and weaker until he could no longer walk on his own. He was in the hospital for six weeks while we waited to see if the meds would help him regain his strength, he couldn't feed himself, he had to wear adult diapers, he didn't know where he was or what was happening. I was devastated, we had only been married three weeks when this all happened.

In the middle of this I was told that I, too, was HIV positive. I haven't sat down yet to think about what this means for me yet. I have been totally focused on getting my love the help he needs to come back to us. I've been trying to save our newly opened Karate school and keep us from losing our home.

My husband is slowly gaining his strength back, my mother lent me the money I needed to pay the bills, get our medications, and save the school for another month. I guess now I have to deal with what this all means. My doctor started me on Bactrim a week ago and I'm tolerating that fairly well. I just picked up my prescription for Stribild this afternoon, although I'm not going to start it until Friday when my husband is finally home. I saw what these meds did to him, the sleepwalking and night terrors, and I'm terrified of what they will do to me. I don't want to be alone in the house when I start.

I don't know what to think or how to feel. I don't want to be on medication for the rest of my life. I don't know how we are going to pay for these prescriptions every month. I want this nightmare to end and my life to get back to normal. I want to worry about whether we have enough students to make the rent, not whether our viral loads are too high or CD4 counts are too low. This isn't supposed to happen to us! We were supposed to live "happily ever after."

Where is my happily ever after?

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* My fairy tale is a nightmare! Ninjawife 07/29/13 10:57 PM
. * Re: My fairy tale is a nightmare! Ninjawife   08/01/13 11:12 PM
. * Re: My fairy tale is a nightmare! anotherday   07/30/13 11:20 PM
. * Re: My fairy tale is a nightmare! kicker   07/30/13 10:19 AM
. * Re: My fairy tale is a nightmare! riverprincessModerator   07/30/13 10:58 AM

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