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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Reged: 05/25/13
Posts: 5
Re: Disclosing to parents!
      05/25/13 01:57 PM

Everyone wants to curl up into a ball when they first find out. It's hard to open up about your health and other personal issues to anyone especially if you were brought up to keep those issues to yourself as I was.

I first was tested in 1991 after being an IDU between 1982 -1986. My friend who I shared needles with died of AIDS/pc pneumonia in 1986. I was is denial for years since I didn't feel sick, even after being retested again in 1993 when I found out I was also positive for hepititis C. I waited until I was in a bad place in life to inform my parents. They were supportive, allowed me to move back in when I was at my worst. If anything they were concerned/worried about my lack of seeking medical help and my continuous reckless behavior of abusing my body with my vises, drinking and drug use.

Even after I quit my vises after getting sick myself in 2000, hospitalized w/ pc pneumonia, I was affraid of telling anyone about my issue since back when I first got tested I told a friend about my being positive who had told others as expected. I took it as being betrayed but it was only out of concern for others. Those who knew asked me about it in person but I denied it and said I only said it to get away from those who shared my abusive behavior because I had quit... again!

I only wish I knew back then what I know today. We need to keep the focus on ourselves and do whatever it takes to live life without stressing out over it. Stress kills! Today I post health issues I have on facebook shared with the public. I didn't do this for attention/self-pity. I did it to stop the crazy behavor and stress I was creating by worrying what others would think and keeping it from being found out by gossip. I would go to doctors and pharmacies miles away in hope that no one would know me. Everyone has a right to their opinions, we can't control the way they think but I can try to educate them through my post and talking to them in person. I was always against gossip, bullies and ignorance so anyone who has a problem with my health status I wouldn't want to be around in the first place. I don't need the negativity in my life when I'm trying to be better then I was yesterday as a person.

In todays world it is becoming more and more accepted to be open about issues we have. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for my depression/anxiety for years now. I find that talking about my issues with others has made it easier on myself, like taking a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm on a med that helps me mentally. Like I said earier, I wish I knew what I know today years ago. I would've stuck with my mental health treatment and kept the focus on myself learning about my issues, trusting professionals to do the right thing and working as a team with them.

We are our worst enemy, we think the worst and create the stress in our lives. Keep the faith, things happen for a reason, never stop trusting in others and think positive. I would tell my parents if I was you, sooner then later. Today the meds are safe, not like when my friend died or when they were still in an experimental phase when i first was tested, so seek medical attention now. I was told that it was better in my case to have waited like I did. I started meds in 2000 and now I'm on a new cocktail that i started last late summer and I'm doing beter than I was ever doing as far as my T-cell/CD-4 count. Almost 700 in my last lab test. I was no higher then about half of that for years.

Some advice, no one knows your body better than you so don't hold back anything when seeing your doctors and see the specialist you need to see. Many clinics will try to take care of most issues but seeing a doctor who specializes in the issues you have is best. Seek the help you need mentally as well as physically. Talking to a professional helps. I see someone who specializes in psychosamatic medicine which is as follows.... Subspecialization in the diagnosis and treatment of psychiatric disorders and symptoms in complex medically ill patients. This subspecialty includes treatment of patients with acute or chronic medical, neurological, obstetrical or surgical illness in which psychiatric illness is affecting their medical care and/or quality of life such as HIV infection, organ transplantation, heart disease, renal failure, cancer, stroke, traumatic brain injury, high risk pregnancy and COPD, among others. Patients also may be those who have a psychiatric disorder that is the direct consequence of a primary medical condition, or somatoform disorder or psychological factors affecting a general medical condition. Psychiatrists specializing in Psychosomatic Medicine provide consultation-liaison service in general medical hospitals, attend on medical psychiatry inpatient units, and provide collaborative care in primary care and other outpatient settings.

Stop worrying about what others think or say. There'lll always be ignorant people, gossipers and bullies. You don't need them in your life so it's best to find out who they are if they're going to be a part of your life and ignor them.

Our soul purpose is to help each other

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Disclosing to parents! hivstudent 05/22/13 07:19 PM
. * Re: Disclosing to parents! bscottmatt   08/10/13 05:18 PM
. * Re: Disclosing to parents! jimwhoski   05/25/13 01:57 PM
. * Re: Disclosing to parents! riverprincessModerator   05/23/13 12:39 AM
. * Re: Disclosing to parents! iam1   05/22/13 07:55 PM

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