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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

New User

Reged: 11/09/11
Posts: 4
My story
      11/09/11 10:35 PM

Some moments in your life are your choice giving you the chance to make your path. Other moments are chosen for you giving you, what I would like to call a challenge. Every challenge has its a purpose. It will define you as a person and determine who you are as an individual. My challenge came at an unexpected moment. A moment where I have just succeeded due to my determination. Where I just got to my dream and lost it from underneath. It was one that made me learn that success, disappointment, and adaptation are what these moments really are.
I am like most people, I have dreams and goals which I have visions to one day meet. To meet these I play by the rules and work hard. I worked hard, I went to school full time, clinicals, paramedic class and worked 48-72 hours per week. All this paid off after a year I managed to finish managed to pass the NREMT(National Registry of Emergency Medical Technicians) and become a Paramedic. After I had all of my information from the state I started to apply for more jobs around the state to get my dream job as a FireMedic.
I got my first break after taking the written test and passing the physical agility test for a county, I received my first panel interview. I practiced, and got everything in order from pressed clothes to the haircut to look my most presentable. After a few days I received another phone call, I was invited to another panel interview. I again repeated the process and went before a panel of people to get to my dream. After a few days I received a phone call asking me what time would I be available to meet with the chief, I was excited and choose a time. After the interview the chief offered me a job, I was more than thrilled to take it, I thought to myself, I did it I am here I am now on my way! All I had to do was the simple background and drug checks and pass a medical physical, what an easy step I thought. I have done it, I have succeeded.
The next few months where packed, I was more school work to get my AAS, I was working, studying to get a class B drivers license to be able to drive the fire trucks and doing the formal things for HR to start my new career. Three days before I was talking my last two weeks off from my old job and go to a trip to Florida, I had my medical physical. It was easy as normal and passed successfully. Then my life defining moment happened. I received a phone call from the MD to come into her office to review my results. I thought to myself how odd, this normally wouldn’t happen unless she has something important to tell me. Once I arrived at the doctors office and sitting in the room, she informed me that she would not be clearing me and that means I cannot work for the county. I was distraught, and hurt. She stated because my genetic medical condition or “chronic” called Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). She stated she did not feel safe letting because I could bleed to death in an emergency. She also informed me that I have HIV and that she could help me get follow up care. I was speechless. I started to think to myself, How did I get this? Did I really just loose my job for this or ITP(which I thought on the day I told her she said that was okay)? I was feeling pissed off. I was scared. I know statistics, but even then I see the other extremes too (I have been in healthcare a long time).
Soon after, all of my fears where rolling in, who could I tell? Who doesn’t need to know? Will I loose my boyfriend? Does he have it? How Long have I had it? The next 24 hours of my life where horrific, I never felt so scared in my life. I thought to myself, what a fucking challenge, huh? I mean really of all things why this one?
Since find out, I have had a whole new outlook on life, I am doing things I want to do. I try to keep my boyfriend happy and yes he did stay with me and is being very supportive. We play around a few times a week, he will even have penetrative sex but himself will not receive due to his fear. I recently met his family and that has opened up more emotions. To see what he is willing to give me just because I am me and he loves me, its a wonderful joy to have.
I found out on Aug. 18, 2011 its now almost three months later. I have have stir up of emotions and still not on any medication due to good lab results, I have a very supportive boyfriend and hopefully a partner as we still to this day are planning short and long term goals together. I am me, with a new challenge, I may have lost my dream job but I will meet and set new career goals. I have succeeded, felt disappointment, and have adapted. I will continuously succeeded.

Thank you for reading, if you have any questions feel free to ask, or advice that will help also, I wrote a similar version for a class paper, this was revised and shorter as I have experienced a ton of different things the last three months.

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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* My story amaguy 11/09/11 10:35 PM
. * Re: My story angelbear   12/19/11 03:07 AM
. * Re: My story new2this2010   11/11/11 11:59 PM
. * Re: My story amaguy   11/12/11 05:29 AM
. * Re: My story worriedmom61   11/13/11 03:38 PM
. * Re: My story notinterested   11/12/11 12:59 AM
. * Re: My story new2this2010   11/13/11 07:30 PM
. * Re: My story bartlebyAdministrator   11/14/11 03:40 PM
. * Re: My story hellfire   11/18/11 02:26 AM
. * Re: My story amaguy   11/13/11 10:05 PM
. * Re: My story notinterested   11/13/11 10:51 PM
. * Re: My story kicker   11/12/11 01:38 AM
. * Re: My story notinterested   11/13/11 10:45 PM
. * Re: My story new2this2010   11/13/11 07:31 PM
. * Re: My story notinterested   11/11/11 06:43 PM
. * Re: My story amaguy   11/12/11 05:35 AM

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