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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

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Reged: 07/28/11
Posts: 1
On the 25th July, I tested positive
      07/28/11 08:49 AM

Im a 27yr old female, on the 23rd July I went for a screening, although I havent done a test last year. Monday my doc gave me the bad news. I sat stunned, paralysed, my face turned red and my eyes watery.

I got the news at work, I couldnt stop crying, I still cant stop. In hindsight, the sings were there. Im constantly getting sick, normal throat infection, coughing every month I got sick. I guess thats the reason I went for a test (papsmear too) because I asked myself, "Why isnt my body fighting off tflu?"

I only told my boyfriend of 1yr and 6 months, because I was afraid he might overcome the same fate. He is very supportive, but for how long? I only went for one test, on Saturday Im going for a PCR Qualitative test and a viral load, think this will positively prove my status. My doc is as as shocked as I am.

I dont know what to do? Im so scared, I cant tel anyone, because they will look down on me. I got a huge knot on my shoulder, I had to call my medical aid to make sure my tests are covered, then they told me they have an HIV Programme and I got to fill in forms. Everything is just too much too handle, Im not sure if I can survive this, just talking about it gives me a knot in my throat.

Please, Im begging anyone talk to me. Im feeling all alone, angry and dissappionted in myself. No matter what road I take, I end up at the same destination. Misery

I was always depressed and suicidal, then why now am I scared to die?? Is it the shame?

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Subject Posted by Posted on
* On the 25th July, I tested positive MsCharlie1 07/28/11 08:49 AM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive latino_mex   08/11/11 09:03 AM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive BrokenWingedBird   08/04/11 08:25 AM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive markey111   08/03/11 01:43 PM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive PageofCups   08/03/11 09:50 AM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive DJones   08/03/11 09:10 AM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive brooklynbaseball   08/02/11 06:17 PM
. * Re: On the 25th July, I tested positive trulife   07/31/11 08:16 PM

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