I'm 24 years old and I just tested positive last week. This was completely unexpected, because my doctor had simply asked if I wanted to check for STDs during a physical appointment back in November. At first I couldn't believe the diagnosis because I feel completely healthy. After the initial shock, I cried and hid from the world in my apartment for 2 days. On day 3, I told my boyfriend and he stayed calm and told me that everything will be ok. I've been dating him for only 2 months and I have never felt a greater attraction and love for anyone else in my life. But I am so terrified that he won't be able to deal with my condition and might leave me. He tested negative, but I hear that sometimes the virus can take 3 months to show up on tests. We have only ever practiced safe sex and used condoms. If it turns out in the future that I have infected him, it would just destroy me emotionally.
Ten days ago my time was preoccupied with studying and planning my career. And out of nowhere my life has turned upside down. I don't know much at all about the disease because I naively used to think that things like this don't happen to people like me.
It seems like there has been a lot of progress in terms of treating the disease, but I don't know what to expect. Can I actually live a somewhat normal life? How long can someone who gets HIV in 2008 expect to live?
The only people who know about my condition are my doctor and my boyfriend and yet I feel so utterly alone. If anyone out there around my age has been diagnosed please let me know. In the past I've always thought of myself as a strong person, but now I am terrified and feel so weak.
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Grad student who just tested positive
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