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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

Ophites
Newbie

Reged: 09/10/08
Posts: 7
Loc: Utah
Re: Professional in NY feeling alone
      09/11/08 10:50 PM

Greetings Phoenix,

I was diagnosed with HIV in 1995, and I knew fully the risks before I contracted it.
My first HIV “test” was a viral load after a confirmatory bronchoscopy for PCP. I am also a professional in a mental health organization and must take infectious disease training every year.

Needless to say after I was diagnosed I had extreme guilt, shame and fear, and felt entirely alone. I spent a lot of time soul searching, punishing myself, and even isolated myself from anyone and anything social. I was disgusted in myself and hated the feelings I had.

I finally came to a self realization that for my entire life, I am the only person I MUST live with, everyone else is a choice, so I better learn to love myself and treat myself like a true friend, which includes forgiving myself for decisions may I make and actions may I take that cause me shame and guilt, and to learn from the ones that cause those bad feelings, and to learn from and enjoy ones that cause good feelings.

It was then I was able to venture out and stop dwelling in the how and why I got this disease, but instead focus on what I am going to do now and for the rest of my life. It also helped me to re-evaluate how I treat others.

This change of focus also helped me to once again look forward to the future and make new friends, and I learned that several of them were in my shoes at one time. I also expanded my career and I am now on the new employee orientation team. Part of what I do is an overview of the required online training, including infectious disease.

My point of this very lengthy post is not to suggest that you take the path I did, but merely to offer my own experience as way of reaching out to you to let you know you are not alone, you are not a fool and that I and others have been in your shoes. You are not a bad person, and your true friends will not think less of you for having HIV. I doubt your colleagues will either. My colleagues did not and I live in Utah! In fact, some of my colleagues have become my closest friends.

Your "now" and your "future" are still yours and waiting for you.

My heartfelt best to you Phoenix; May you find success and happiness in your career and your life.

I find it interesting that you chose the name Phoenix; the strong and noble bird that rises anew from its own ashes.


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Pacis exsisto vobis iam quod in posterus,
Scotty


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Pacis exsisto vobis iam quod in posterus,
Scotty

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Professional in NY feeling alone Phoenix1012 09/08/08 08:10 AM
. * Re: I'm a Professional in NY feeling alone onekingdom   12/07/08 08:21 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone wpk7275   10/19/08 09:55 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone gurlzone   09/19/08 01:14 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Phoenix1012   09/22/08 07:54 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone ws2toronto   09/19/08 06:00 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone ws2toronto   09/17/08 11:36 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Phoenix1012   09/22/08 07:58 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone ws2toronto   09/24/08 07:09 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Phoenix1012   09/24/08 09:55 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone taurusthecat   09/22/08 10:14 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Richard3910   09/15/08 09:23 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone ANewMe27   09/14/08 08:30 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone livinghope   09/14/08 05:44 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Phoenix1012   09/13/08 09:46 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone TdavisMSW   09/13/08 07:20 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone morethanpoz   09/12/08 10:34 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone sbev1981   03/20/09 07:00 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Seekyah   09/17/08 02:03 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Seekyah   09/17/08 02:00 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone TdavisMSW   09/13/08 06:29 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Ophites   09/11/08 10:50 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone jnm83   09/11/08 06:40 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone michaelmca   09/11/08 05:56 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone charlespitre   09/11/08 09:36 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone maxx   09/11/08 08:14 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone taurusthecat   09/10/08 10:51 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone TdavisMSW   09/10/08 09:11 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone NYRN   09/10/08 09:05 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone toothsaver   09/10/08 08:16 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone jody417   09/10/08 08:12 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone oldwoman   09/08/08 12:00 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Phoenix1012   09/09/08 07:40 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone oldwoman   09/09/08 08:19 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Florida69   09/09/08 12:14 PM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone oldwoman   09/10/08 08:13 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone Florida69   09/08/08 09:02 AM
. * Re: Professional in NY feeling alone RevAnn   09/08/08 08:44 AM

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