I am a nurse living with HIV for 11 years now. I have only been open with a handful of people and definitely none that I work with. I went out on disability when I was first diagnosed, because I almost died. took about a year to recover from PCP, wasting, etc.
It took another 5 years to realize that it was ok for me to work as a nurse with HIV (did some non-nursing work for a while). I knew this intellectually, but I couldn't bring myself to look for a job again, just basically feeling not worthy.
I do work now as a nurse and still feel that it's nobody's business what goes on in my personal life. I would never tell anyone at work.
I also tried the support group in the beginning and felt the same way. I've always had a positive attitude (or maybe its a head in the sand attitude, don't know) even when newly diagnosed and very sick. I hated that none of the people at the group were working or had any intention of it. Most were accustomed to taking advantage of the welfare system, and made no secret of it. I went 2 or 3 times and never went back.
You are not a fool, you are human. We make mistakes. Unfortunately ours will always be with us. One good thing to come out of this is that at least we are aware of our status, many aren't. We know that we must have safe sex, under all circumstances and people that are unaware may continue to take chances. You are not your disease, you are a proffessional that has a disease. You are not a snob, you are looking for people that you can relate to. I can understand that. Hope this helps.
I would love to attend a group of proffessionals if you find any, I would go. I'm only about an hour from NYC.
Edited by maxx (09/11/08 08:15 AM)