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HIV Life >> I Just Tested Positive

Nathan
Regular

Reged: 09/15/07
Posts: 32
Loc: LA
Shaken and possibly broken....
      09/15/07 11:21 PM

I have lived through disasters.

I lived in NYC during 9-11, saw the towers fall....
I have weathered tornados and hurricanes, seeing homes trashed by the storms furry.
I have lived through a major earthquake when many others did not survive.
I watched the tsunami on television and Katrina ruin thousands of lives, devestating the southern states.

I now am in the midst of my own disaster, unable to communicate my needs or understand really what is happening to me and how to proceed forward.

I am young, good looking, funny, smart, successful. This seems so unreal. I am in a fog. This isn't supposed to be my life, my destiny.

I am ashamed, have hate for myself and am disgusted at the image in the mirror.

I don't know what's next, I am scared, disorriented and in a state of denial. I am going through the motions... writting this, but not feeling much.... I am detached at the moment, praying that things will come into focus.

It's been three days since the doctor told me I was positive... it seems like nothing good can come from this. I have always tried to find the silver linning in everything, but now that I am positive, I have little hope.

I know I am not the first person to go through this, and unfortunatey, not the last...

I want a cure for you, for me, for the people that follow. ..
I need to find hope, something to hold on to.

Thanks for listening...

--------------------
At the end of the day, we are measured by our actions, not our intentions.

Post Extras: Remind Me!     Notify Moderator

Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan 09/15/07 11:21 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... fcs3   10/22/07 02:06 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Survivor   09/17/07 02:27 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/17/07 02:49 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Survivor   09/17/07 03:44 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/17/07 04:19 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Survivor   09/17/07 07:20 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/18/07 01:55 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... THR   06/10/10 01:48 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... oldwoman   09/17/07 10:23 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/17/07 02:19 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/17/07 10:17 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/17/07 02:28 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... oldwoman   09/17/07 09:01 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Survivor   09/17/07 09:34 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/18/07 01:59 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/18/07 08:49 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/18/07 11:08 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/19/07 09:37 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Shaun   09/20/07 03:53 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/20/07 05:04 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Shaun   09/20/07 05:44 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/20/07 04:20 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/20/07 09:16 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/20/07 04:22 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/20/07 04:34 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/20/07 06:47 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Survivor   09/20/07 07:38 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/21/07 01:25 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/20/07 09:55 PM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/21/07 01:18 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... oldwoman   09/21/07 09:50 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/22/07 01:33 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/21/07 08:41 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/22/07 01:36 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... vokz   09/22/07 01:39 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/22/07 03:23 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Shaun   09/23/07 02:47 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/24/07 03:09 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Survivor   09/23/07 11:24 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... oldwoman   09/21/07 09:52 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Florida69   09/21/07 10:07 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... oldwoman   09/19/07 08:16 AM
. * Re: Shaken and possibly broken.... Nathan   09/20/07 04:26 PM

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