Unless I misunderstood, this man has never stated that he slept with his wife after he slept with his male lover. As I unerstood him, he divorced (or separated permanantly) his wife, then dated a man(or men) and then discovered he was HIV+. Only if he slept with his ex-wife while sleeping with others is he responsible for telling his ex-wife of his status. If he did not, then he doesn't need to tell her if he does not want to-
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