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HIV Life >> Teens

jane
Unregistered

My story
      04/07/00 01:01 AM

okay, here we go. . . i had unprotected oral sex with a guy i had just met that day. i know what you're thinking- "well, what does she expect? if she's doing that all the time chances are she's going to contract it sooner or later." the truth is, i've had two partners in my life: one was my first "steady" boyfriend who i was totally in love with and the first was the boyfriend i have now. so, the guy i performed oral sex on never told me he was hiv positive but afterwards he seemed quite adament about me spitting out the semen. this can be interpreted in many ways (and trust me, i've disected them all). there was no other sexual contact. i just gave him a blow job. so, a while after that i got sick. my symptoms were extreme nausea, dizziness and aching joints. i thought about the possibility of contracting hiv then, but brushed it off thinking i would just wait to see how things developed. i went to speak with a woman at the std clinic and she eased my mind a little bit. i don't remember exactly what she said but i stopped worrying about for about a week after. she told me to think about what i would do if i did test positive before taking the test. i'm eighteen years old, my parents are hardcore christians, i graduated with decent grades, i have a lot of friends. i honestly didn't think i'd be able to deal with it if i tested positive. i met this guy (who is now my boyfriend) about a month after the encounter and we totally fell in love. we have had sex but i always made sure it was protected. i have been scared sick (literally) for the last sick months and haven't been able to talk to anyone about it. i live in a small town, it would get around so quickly and aids is still seen as a gay man's disease here. i still don't know if i'm positive. i have developed an ulcer and severe headaches. i don't know what to do. i know i'm going to fall apart one of these days if i don't talk to him about it. what if i gave him the disease. my symptoms now are body aches, lack of energy, headaches, itchy skin and minor bruising. something that has given me a bit of recent hope is that all my roommates are sick with the flu and i haven't caught it. does that mean anything?
any advice would be very much appreciated.
jane




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Subject Posted by Posted on
* My story jane 04/07/00 01:01 AM
. * Re: My story Anonymous   06/13/00 01:15 PM
. * Re: faith,not fear 999   05/04/00 10:46 PM
. * Re: My story Rita   04/07/00 01:01 AM

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