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HIV Life >> Teens

Anonymous
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Terrified to get tested!
      01/02/02 05:39 AM

I'm a twenties male and I just got engaged. I'm going to have to be tested for hiv sometime before I get married out of fairness to my fiancee. I'm terrified. I really really really really don't want to get tested. If I test positive...I can imagine dread that would reach into my soul. I think it's better not to know than to find out that I have it.

After graduation I went backpacking around S.E Asia and South America. Young and horney, I had sex with every willing female I could get my hands on. It was great fun and I was almost always safe.

There was this one time, though, I was not. I was in a nightclub in Equador and very drunk when I met her. We left the bar and staggerd back to my hotel. I had run out of condoms, and she had none. We did it anyway. She seemed angry that I was reluctant, claiming not to have hiv. How could she know that I didn't? How many other times had she had unprotected sex with others because 'she' didn't have it?

Unfortunately these were afterthoughts. In my drunken stupidness I went ahead and had sex with her.

In the morning I had a shower and noticed that I was covered in dried blood. Turned out she was on her period. My my my, wasn't I stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Now I am engaged to be married to a virgin and I am having nightmares about that night a million miles away in a dark room in Quito. It's been haunting me for over two years. While the relief of a negative blood test would be soooo fantastic, the fear of a positive one keeps me from the doctor's office.




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Entire thread
Subject Posted by Posted on
* Terrified to get tested! Anonymous 01/02/02 05:39 AM
. * Re: Terrified to get tested! Anonymous   08/06/04 03:54 AM
. * Re: Terrified to get tested! HappyFlukey   04/08/02 01:52 PM
. * Re: Terrified to get tested! gregg629   01/02/02 11:00 AM

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