Thank you for the direct answer and perception. I agree. Isolation was my way of staying AWAY from relationships-and I went into self-exile. Then the "right one" came along-and I was improvising just to hand onto the chance of BEING with someone, that I could be with...then the passion...and the inner reality of ...responsibility. Let me say, when Passion knocks at your door, you are going to open it, which is what I did-and in this case it was after we made verbal commitments of love. Soooo...All these answers are giving me strength to deal with disclosure on her next visit.
On a personal note, I found it ironic or even supernatural, that you used the word magnet, in your sentence structure:
"after a brief shock she should still consider you to be her magnet..."
That is what she calls me. A babe magnet. Well, this magnet wants to attract one person for as, Leonard Cohen sings, "Dance to the End of Love." We use musical metaphors quite abit. It is a good song with TWO different videos on YouTube. One shows 'couples young and old', and Leonard is on a stage. The earlier music video- is a woman in a hallway. They are beautiful crafted videos with romantic themes. There is a clip of Prince Phillip in the UK, telling the young princes, that HE like Cohen, for his orchestration. Well, I just wanted to share that music has the power to heal, in many ways-and this is my personal story.
Thank you again, for your point of view and writing.